My Big Fat Mutant Birthday Party
by Red Witch
Summary: It's Rogue's Birthday, but she doesn't feel like celebrating. She's having a party she doesn't want and is not happy with the guest list. Complete with Misfits, jocks, snooty chaperones and a drunken Jean! Find out if Rogue will stay or run away from home
1. We're Having A Party Like it or Not!

**I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters or GI Joe characters. This fic takes place in my Misfit series. Well that being said I just had this very strange idea for a Rogue birthday story. And you know what happens when I get an idea. Fasten your seat belts kiddos, it's gonna be a wild ride! **

**My Big Fat Mutant Birthday Party**

****

Chapter 1. We're Having a Party Like it or Not!

"SURPRISE BIRTHDAY GIRL!" Bobby and Kurt shouted at the top of their lungs. Kurt had teleported into Rogue's room and Bobby had made a snowball to throw down Rogue's back as they whipped off the covers.

Only Rogue wasn't there.

"Surprise yourselves," Rogue and Kitty burst out of the closet and sprayed them with super-soakers.

"AGGGHH!" Kurt gasped. 

"Cut it out!" Bobby held up his hands to protect himself. "Cut it out!" 

"Gotcha," Rogue stopped firing and mockingly blew on the top of the water gun's opening. 

"How did you know we were going to do that?" Kurt asked.

"Simple, you did the same stupid thing last year," Rogue folded her arms. 

"I wasn't here last year," Bobby pointed out. 

"Jamie also overheard you two planning," Kitty told them. 

"I knew we should have paid the little rat more than five bucks to keep it quiet," Bobby grumbled. 

"Serves you jokers right," Kitty stuck out her tongue.

"Here!" Rogue threw them a towel. "Dry yourselves off as well as what's on our rug."

"But you made the mess!" Bobby protested.

"Do you really wanna argue with the Birthday Girl?" Rogue asked as she leveled the water gun at them again.

"No," Kurt muttered as he started to clean up. "So how does it feel to be seventeen?"

"Pretty much the same as sixteen," Rogue shrugged. "It's just another day as far as I'm concerned." 

"Well there's gonna be a huge party tonight," Bobby said. 

"Yippee," Rogue sighed. "I hate large parties."

"Well with all the Misfits coming as well as all the X-Men here it can't be anything less," Kurt said. 

"I can't believe they invited the Misfits," Rogue grumbled.

"Well two of them are your siblings too," Kurt sighed. 

"Half siblings," Rogue grumbled. "And they're half out of their minds as well."

"Well the Professor does want us to make peace with them," Kitty said. "Why I'll never know. Especially after the latest stunts they pulled!"

"Oh and does that include a certain walking fault line?" Rogue smirked. 

"Shut up!" Kitty protested hotly. "Besides, I'm not the only one around here with a boyfriend!"

"So what do you think Gambit will get you?" Bobby asked.

"I don't really care to be honest with ya," She waved. "And he's not my boyfriend! He's just…a friend okay?" 

"Ha!" Kurt snickered. "Yeah, right!" 

"Well at least if I did have a boyfriend I wouldn't be stupid to have a boyfriend who's a Misfit," Rogue said.

"And what's wrong with the Misfits?" Kitty fumed. "Oh wait…never mind." 

"Yeah tonight it's gonna be a fun night with the Misfits," Kurt groaned. 

"Too bad they're not the only ones they invited," Bobby sighed.

"What?" Rogue asked.

"Who else is coming?" Kurt asked. 

"Oh yeah," Bobby said. "You two haven't heard."

"Heard what?" Rogue's eyebrow raised.

************************************************************************

"I think this is a mistake Charles," Logan sighed. 

"It won't be that bad," Xavier said. 

"How could you do this to her?" Logan asked. 

"It's for her own good as well as for all the other children," Ororo said.

"She's not gonna like this," Logan said. "How are you gonna break it to her, that's what I want to know?"

"Very tactfully and tastefully," Xavier said.

"You mean just before the party starts?" Logan asked.

"Well that's one way to put it," Xavier shrugged. 

"**_PROFESSOR!" _**Rogue's voice could be heard all through the mansion.

"Or she could find out through the grapevine," Logan said.

"I told you we should have bribed Bobby," Ororo groaned.

"Professor!" Rogue stormed in. "What is all this I hear about you inviting some kids from Bayville High to my party! A party which I didn't even want in the first place!" 

"Now Rogue…" Xavier sighed. 

"What am I? Some kind of pathetic charity case that you have to invite people over to my home? I have enough friends without you trying to get me more!" She snapped.

"It's not like that," Xavier told her. 

"How could you invite total strangers to my birthday party?" Rogue yelled. "How could you do this to me? This is my birthday! Not some kind of mutant relations experiment!" 

"Rogue it wasn't his idea it was mine!" Ororo said. 

"WHAT?" Rogue glared at her.

"We had to think of something," She sighed. "The court case isn't going well and we had to find some way to show people that you really are just normal kids after all and…" 

"Oh yeah, that just makes it all better!" Rogue snapped. "To hell with my feelings! Just put me on display like some sort of freak! Oh wait, I am a freak so it's okay!"

"That's not what's gonna happen!" Logan said. "Although for the record I do agree with you on this point Stripes." 

"I can't believe you did this!" Rogue groaned. "Like this party wasn't going to be a big enough disaster to begin with!" 

"What do you mean?" Ororo asked. 

"Face it Storm, we don't exactly have a great track record when it comes to having a good time," Rogue told her. "Every time we go somewhere or do something things happen! Either some enemy attacks us or someone's powers end up out of control or some monsters appear or a fight breaks out! The closest we ever had to a successful party is when Arcade nearly fried us alive!" 

"It won't be like that this time!" Ororo said.

"HA!" Rogue snapped.

"Rogue…" Ororo said in a dangerous tone. 

"How much you want to bet that my evil insane mother or my evil insane father will try to crash this party?" Rogue said. "Or worse, both of them at the same time!" 

"That won't happen," Xavier told her. "You are exaggerating." 

"Oh please!" Rogue snapped. "This is my mother I'm talking about! She's capable of anything and you know it!" 

"But you can't let your fears control your life," Xavier said.

"I'm not scared of her! I'm scared of you and your constant meddling in my life!" She shouted.

"Constant meddling? Really Rogue," Ororo said. "That's hardly a fair description. We only invited a few people…"

"A few strangers!" Rogue snapped.

"A few people from school," Ororo said. "Who are classmates of yours…"

"Were classmates of mine," Rogue snapped. "We don't go there anymore!"

"That hasn't been decided yet," Ororo said. "Just a few extra people will be here to mingle with us. I'm not asking you to stay with them all night. Just try to be nice to them. The other students will be in charge of showing them around. It will just be a nice casual party. God willing that the Misfits don't screw things up." 

"Well you can have this party on your own because I am staying in my room and I am not coming out until it is over so there!" She screamed and flew off.

"Rogue!" Ororo went to go after her.

"I'll talk to her," Logan put a hand on her shoulder. He went upstairs to her room. He knocked on the door and went inside.

Rogue was on her bed. "You know you're supposed to at least let me say 'Go Away' before you barge in here!" She said. 

"Can I talk to you?" Logan walked over to the bed.

"Talk all you like, I'm still not going!" She said looking away. "I don't care if I have to stay in my room all night, I am not going to that party." 

"Stripes I said it before I agree with you," Logan sat on the bed. "Storm shouldn't have done that without at least asking you."

"Damn right she shouldn't," She muttered.

"Look it's only going to be a couple of other people," Logan said. "And one of them is going to be the Elf's girlfriend. You like her." 

"Amanda's coming?" Rogue asked. "She sneaking out?"

"No, Charles managed to talk her parents into giving it a shot," Logan said. "They still aren't crazy about her dating the elf but at least they realize she's gonna see him like it or not."

"Yeah well we know who's to blame for that situation," Rogue said. "If Toad hadn't trashed Amanda's parents' place and exposed Kurt as a mutant…"

"That was a long time ago," Logan said. "Again I gotta agree with you as far as Toad and all the other Misfits are concerned."

"At least somebody around here has some common sense," Rogue grumbled. 

"Well they're all coming like it or not," Logan said.

"Yippee," Rogue said without enthusiasm.

"We'll keep an eye on the kids," Logan reassured her. "Make sure they don't cause **too** much trouble." 

"What about Shipwreck?" Rogue asked.

"Okay that could be a problem," Logan sighed. "But as long as we keep him away from the alcohol everything should be okay." 

"Aw face it Logan this is gonna be a total disaster!" Rogue hid her face in her pillow. "My life is ruined!" 

"I'll make a deal with you," Logan said. "If for some reason this party does turn out to be as big a disaster as you make it out to be…I'll buy you a car."

"A car?" Rogue's eyebrows raised. "How about a motorcycle instead?"

"Uh…"

"Logan…" 

"Only if it's a real huge disaster," Logan said.

"Well then I guess for me this party's gonna be a win-win situation," Rogue grinned. "Now help me pick out something to wear." She got off the bed. 

"What have I done?" Logan groaned. 

**Next up: The guests arrive! Prepare for the madness! **


	2. The Guests Arrive

**The Guests Arrive**

"How could you promise her a motorcycle?" Ororo shouted at Logan.

"Look I was desperate okay?" Logan told her. "You of all people should understand that Ms. Invite Total Strangers to the Institute!" 

"They are not total strangers," Xavier told him. "Paul is coming as well as Amanda."

"What about Taryn?" Logan asked.

"She moved away last week remember?" Hank told him as he hung some decorations on the ceiling. 

"So who is coming?" Logan asked.

"About 9 students from the high school will come as well as Paul and Amanda," Xavier said. "As well as a chaperone."

"Too bad it's not Kelly," Hank snickered. "But since he's a senator now I suppose that would be too much to hope for. I can't believe he got elected so fast!"

"I can," Logan growled as he fiddled with the decorations. "Considering what platform he ran on. What the heck is this stupid thing supposed to be anyway?" 

"I believe it is supposed to be a replication of the species _latinus atrocius,_" Hank stated. "Normally found in the rainforests of…"

"Hank if it's supposed to be a flower, say it's a flower for crying out loud!" Logan threw it to the ground. "I don't know why we don't have the kids do the decorations for crying out loud!"

"Because most of them are working on the refreshments," Hank explained. He picked up the decoration and started to play with it. "And since Kitty insisted on making at least one cake and some cookies the rest of them are scrambling to make sure there are decent food stuffs prepared so our guests don't get food poisoning." He opened the flower. "Voila!" 

"Showoff," Logan growled as he grabbed the decoration from him. "One of the cakes? Oh wait, I forgot the Blob was coming!"

"Well all of the children have bottomless pits for stomachs," Ororo sighed. "That reminds me Charles, do you have the special surprise ready for Rogue."

"Yes," Xavier smiled. "It hasn't been easy keeping that secret."

"Oh great now what are you gonna spring on the poor kid?" Logan asked.

"I assure you Logan," Xavier smiled. "This is one surprise she will enjoy. That I promise you."

************************************************************************

"It's almost seven Rogue," Kitty called out. She was wearing her turquoise dress. "Like, aren't you ready yet?" 

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Rogue came out in a long sleeved black dress. "Well?"

"Remy is gonna love that," Kitty grinned.

"Who cares about Remy!" Rogue said defensively.

"You do and you know it Chere," Remy poked his head in. 

"Speak of the devil," Rogue folded her arms.

"You called?" Kurt teleported in. "Wow, you look great!"

"It's just a dress," Rogue told him.

"A dress you look hot in," Kitty said. 

"I have to agree with that," Remy grinned. "You ready?" 

"Ready as I'll ever be. Better get this nightmare over with," Rogue grumbled as she started to go downstairs. "Somebody better make sure the Misfits don't steal the silverware." 

"They do not do that," Kitty said. "Kurt why are you fiddling with your watch?"

"I just want to look my best for the party," Kurt said nervously. "Verdammit! It's broke again! Maybe I should just hide in the kitchen until Forge can fix it." 

"Kurt they already know what you look like," Rogue told him. 

"Yah, but maybe…" Kurt shied away.

"Look…**_brother_**," Rogue's tone was icy. "The last thing I wanna do is go down there and face a bunch of yahoos I never even wanted to see again, much less come to my birthday party! So if I gotta go out there and look like an idiot the least you can do is back me up!" She fumed. 

"I don't see the big deal anyway Kurt," Kitty said. "I mean Mr. McCoy is gonna be there too and chances are Xi is gonna be the way he is."

"Yeah you're not exactly gonna be the only one on display ya know?" Rogue said. "And I'm the one who everyone's gonna be looking at!"

"I guess," Kurt sighed. "It's just…I feel so uncomfortable with people seeing me like this. It brings back…unpleasant memories."

"Well chances are tonight's gonna be another one so let's just buck up okay?" She sighed as they went downstairs. All the X-Men were down in the foyer. "What the heck are y'all doing here? I told you I wouldn't make a run for it!" 

"We all just wanted to greet our guests," Xavier told her. 

Paul and Amanda were already there. Amanda went up to Kurt and kissed him. "Kurt I'm so glad I could come!" She beamed. "You look great!"

"You don't think this outfit clashes with my fur?" Kurt asked. He was wearing a dark blue suit.

"It looks fine," She smiled. She was wearing a nice black outfit with gold necklaces. Her hair was braided as well. "Everybody looks great."

"Well," Scott fidgeted with his tie. "We all wanted to look nice for Rogue." He was wearing his nice brown suit. Everyone was wearing nice clothes. Even Tabitha looked classy with a peach colored dress and her hair up. 

"Thanks a lot for inviting us Professor Xavier," Amara said. 

"Yeah it was really nice of you," Paul said.

"Well you two I don't mind showing up to my party," Rogue sighed. "Its all those other weirdoes and jerks I mind."

"Well the Misfits are coming too," Jean said.

"That's who I was talking about," Rogue grumbled. 

"Rogue has some family issues," Scott explained to Paul. 

"Yeah you were telling me. Okay let me see if I get this straight," Paul said. "Rogue and Kurt have the same genetic mother, but Rogue was part of an experiment and placed in a surrogate mother who also raised her." 

"Right," Rogue nodded.

"Also Rogue's biological father is also the father of a pair of twins on this team called the Misfits," Paul continued. "Whom most of the members used to be in the Brotherhood." 

"Got it in one," Rogue told him. "Of course you're forgetting the part where my father is also a genetic terrorist bent on ruling the world."

"I was kinda leaving that part out on purpose," Paul told her. 

"But it's great how all of the X-Men here came together for you," Amanda said. "I mean Rogue wait until you see all the decorations and cakes they made!" 

"Well Rogue is an important part of our lives," Jean said. 

"I guess we all consider each other family," Scott shrugged. 

"Yeah we're a genetically warped Brady Bunch," Rogue grumbled. "Nothing is weirder than that!"

"WILL YOU SHUT YOUR FREAKING MOUTHS AND STOP COMPLAINING?" Shipwreck's voice could be heard outside. "THE FREAKING PARTY HASN'T EVEN STARTED AND YOU'RE ALREADY GIVING ME A HEADACHE!" 

"THIS IS SO STUPID!" Wanda shouted. "WHY DO WE EVEN HAVE TO COME TO THIS FREAKING PARTY! IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE WANTED OR ANYTHING! THEY ONLY INVITED US TO BE POLITE!"

"WHY COULDN'T WE HAVE STAYED HOME WITH THE TRIPLETS AND THE BABIES?" Lance's voice carried over. "IT'S PIETRO AND WANDA THAT ARE THE ONLY BLOOD RELATIONS AT THIS PARTY! THIS IS GONNA BE HELL AND YOU KNOW IT!" 

"OH THAT'S RIGHT, BLAME IT ALL ON US!" Pietro was overheard. 

"LISTEN UP YOU FREAKING MANIACS, THEY INVITED YOU ALL BECAUSE LIKE IT OR NOT WE'RE A FAMILY!" Low Light could be heard next. "AND FAMILY ALWAYS SHOWS UP EVEN WHEN THEY'RE NOT WANTED SO BEHAVE YOURSELVES OR ELSE!" 

"OKAY YOU DON'T HAVE TO FREAKING YELL AT US!" Althea's voice blared. 

"Oh yes," Rogue rolled her eyes. "Now I remember."

"IT'S NOT US THAT ACT LIKE FREAKING LUNATICS, RIGHT DAD?" Althea's voice carried over again. 

"AW SHUT YOUR TRAP! WE'RE HERE!" Shipwreck said. The Misfits walked into the mansion wearing nice outfits. Well nice in a rebel without a cause way. Lance was wearing his black outfit with a white shirt and no tie. Todd was wearing a black outfit; white shirt that was opened and a red vest that made him look like an extra in a vampire movie. Althea was wearing her hair up as well as a tight two piece blue outfit that showed her navel. Wanda was wearing a sleeveless equally tight red dress. Xi was wearing a black outfit with a black shirt. Fred was wearing a well tailored but loud red suit, blue shirt and his trademark mohawk. Pietro, ever the fashion plate was wearing a white tuxedo with a red carnation in the buttonhole. What was even stranger was that the adults, Shipwreck, Cover Girl, Roadblock and Low Light were all wearing their usual uniforms. 

"Just stay sober will ya?" Jinx walked into the mansion. 

"Well we're here," Shipwreck walked in. "Where's the punch bowl?" 

Althea elbowed him in the ribs. "What he means to say is where's the birthday girl?" She said. 

"That too," Shipwreck smiled. "Hey here's your present. We all chipped in." He handed her a huge not well-wrapped box. 

"Jinx?" Logan blinked. "What are you doing here?" 

"Well I thought I'd get to spend some quality time here," Jinx purred as she put her arms around Logan and kissed him passionately.

"Oh brother," Ororo rolled her eyes. 

"Where's Spirit and the Blind Master?" Scott asked.

"Who?" Paul asked, slightly confused. 

"Two other adults that live with us," Todd said. "They got baby sitting duty. Lucky bums." 

"Okay we might as well get this over with," Rogue grumbled. "Paul, Amanda you know most of these guys. But the ones you don't know are these two." She pointed to Althea and Xi. 

"Hey how ya doin'?" Althea vigorously shook both Paul and Amanda's hands. "Althea 'Wavedancer' Delgato at your service!"

"Xi," The scaled mutant made a slight bow. 

"Yeah we've heard about you," Paul said looking at Xi. "You're the one that's um…not uh…"

"I have no gender if that is what you are referring to," Xi asked. 

"Oh yeah," Paul blinked. "What do I, uh…call you?"

"Xi," He showed his fangs in a smile. "But you may use the pronoun 'he' in order to make it easier."

"Sorry," Paul said. "I didn't…"

"No need," Xi said. "I have observed that many do not understand how to address someone without a gender. Mutants as well as humans. I have never been to a party before. This shall be educational." 

"Don't worry Xi," Althea said. "Todd and I may need our smooching time but we promise we'll spend a lot of quality time with you." She turned to the others. "We're kind of doing a triple date thing tonight." 

"Triple date?" Paul asked. 

"Xi is very affectionate," Althea explained. "Not used to socializing however." 

"Hey let's get some food before the meatheads from school arrive," Todd said. "Man I hate those people!"

"Don't worry babe," Althea kissed him. "I'll make sure they get several eyefuls of me kissing you! Make those losers sorry they ever dissed you!" 

"That's my woman," Todd grinned as he kissed her back.

"Do you want me to kiss you too?" Xi asked. 

"Depends on how the evening goes and how big a jerk those people are," Althea told him. "We'll catch you guys later." 

"I'm not allowed to kill any of them, right?" Xi asked innocently.

"Right," Todd nodded casually as they walked over to mingle. 

"Well…they're…" Amanda blinked. "Interesting."

"I think the word you are looking for is psychotic," Rogue muttered. 

"So Roguey," Pietro walked up to her along with Fred. "Many happy returns little sister!"

"I got you some flowers!" Fred handed her a bouquet. 

"Oh they're nice," Rogue blinked as she accepted them. "And they're fresh…"

"And they look suspiciously like the ones in our garden," Scott glared at them.

"Yeah how about that?" Pietro changed the subject. "So how the heck did Baldy talk you into this idea of you hosting the party of the year?"

"Yeah if it was Jean I could see it," Fred said. "But you ain't exactly Miss Sociable." 

"So what'd they bribe you with?" Pietro asked. "I mean if this was Jean's party all they'd have to do is promise her some bright shiny objects!"

"Scott it looks like our guests have arrived," Jean said icily. "Why don't we greet them?" They moved away. Four girls had walked into the door. 

"Who are they?" Althea asked.

"I remember them," Pietro nodded. "That's Linda Evans, Mindy Green, Tiffany Albes, and Nancy Black. They used to be on the same soccer team as Jean as well as on the student council. They were this popular clique that Jean hung out with all the time." 

"Oh great," Rogue muttered underneath her breath. "Some of Jean's friends!"

"Ex-friends by the look of it," Pietro observed. The girls looked like they did not want to be in the same room with Jean. 

"I'm really glad you guys could make it," Jean smiled warmly at her former friends. 

"Listen Jean," Mindy spoke. "The only reason we're here is one: The party circuit in this town is completely dead! Two: We're getting extra credit in our science class and three our parents made us. Some garbage about learning to get along with other people."

"You must be a math whiz," Althea said sarcastically. 

"You must be easy," Mindy glared at Althea. 

"Not anywhere near your league sweets," Pietro said. 

"Look just because I'm a mutant that's no reason we can't stay friends," Jean said. "I'm still the same person I was before."

"Unfortunately," Pietro quipped. 

"Oh no," Mindy said sarcastically. "Just because Bayville High had to give up at least half it's trophies because you mutants cheated your way to victory doesn't mean we can't be friends." 

"Cool it Mindy," Linda said. "We promised to give this a chance. Remember?" 

"Yeah just because Jean's a liar and a cheat doesn't necessarily mean the rest of them are," Nancy said. 

"EWWWW!" Tiffany recoiled at the sight of Todd eating some chips. "Toady Tolensky is here? Oh forget this, I am not that desperate for a party!" 

"And what's wrong with my boyfriend?" Althea defensively put her arm around Todd.

"Your…boyfriend?" Tiffany's jaw dropped. "I thought even you mutants had some standards! I mean even you could get something better! You don't look that trashy!" 

"Okay," Althea rolled up her sleeves. "You wanna…" 

"Go get some punch, great idea!" Roadblock grabbed her by the arms and whirled her away in the other direction. 

"Uh how about we go see what's in the dining room," Jean started to herd the girls away in the other direction. 

"Well at least they won't be interested in hating me," Rogue grumbled. She looked up and saw a dark haired woman in a blue dress giving her a harsh look. 

"Rogue this is Ms. March, the women's soccer coach at Bayville High," Xavier introduced her to Rogue.

"Yes formerly the soccer coach of the state champions until you all came along," She said bitterly. "Listen here and listen good, I am here for one reason only: To make sure our students aren't harmed. If I find any of them unconscious or in a coma or whatever it is you do…"

"I don't do that on purpose lady!" Rogue fumed. 

"Rogue has no control over her abilities," Hank tried to explain. 

"Yeah well she and the other maniacs better learn to have some control around here or you can kiss any hope of returning to Bayville High goodbye," Ms. March said. "And that goes for you too Mr. McCoy! I don't want you tearing up the place!"

"That was a long time ago," Hank said evenly. "I have more control now."

"Well with you teaching these…children if you can call them that I would be surprised if any of them had any control at all." 

"Now just a cotton pickin' minute here!" Hank growled. "Who do you…?"

"Would you like to see the study?" Ororo steered Ms. March away. "It has a lovely view."

Hank stuck out his tongue. "Charming lady," Cover Girl remarked.

"Ah she always was a stuck up…" Hank muttered.

"Hank!" Xavier admonished. He heard a rowdy noise. "Oh it seems the rest of the guests have arrived." 

A few football players walked into the door. "Man for mutants this pad is pretty swank," One of them remarked. 

"Duh, we were here before, remember?" Another said. "That was a great party though." 

"What did you do?" Logan asked Xavier. "Bribe the coach?" 

"Something like that," Xavier sighed. "Let's just say Bayville High is getting a new swimming pool." 

Jean walked in with Scott. "Well this is going to be a fun night," Jean growled. 

"You can say that again," A familiar figure walked in. 

"Duncan?" Jean's jaw dropped. "What are you doing here?"

"Let's just say it was either this or traffic school," Duncan growled. He looked at Rogue. "This party's for the skunk head? Geeze you could have at least picked a mutant who was hot!" 

Rogue decided to fight back. "Everybody this is Duncan Matthews, you remember the jerk who Jean dumped!"

"Oh yeah," Lance folded his arms. "We remember."

"Very well," Fred said.

"What are they doing here?" Duncan pointed at Lance and the rest of the Misfits. "Aren't they in jail or something?"

"They're part of a program for mutants in the army," Cover Girl explained. 

"Oh you guys in the costumes must be their zookeepers," Duncan looked the Joes over. "Geeze how do you handle a bunch of freaks like that?" 

Low Light then grabbed Duncan by the shirt. "Listen punk," Low Light growled. "One of us 'zookeepers' just happens to be a so-called freak himself. So unless you really want to get on my bad side…I'd watch that smart mouth of yours before I hand it to you on a plate! Capice?" Duncan nodded feebly and moved away to join his buddies.

"Oh tonight is going to be such a cavalcade of whimsy!" Pietro snickered. 

"Great!" Rogue rolled her eyes. "Just who I wanted at this party! This cannot get any worse! Oh wait, it could!" 

"Come on Rogue," Remy gave her a nudge. "Let's just get through this." 

"There is one other guest you should meet," Xavier wheeled away from the door. "You can come out now." A familiar figure stepped out. 

"Well I'll be…" Lance smiled. 

"Irene?" Rogue's jaw dropped. 

"Hello Rogue," She smiled. 

"Irene!" Rogue nearly ran over and hugged her. (Carefully of course.) "I can't believe this!" 

"I missed you so much," Irene said softly. 

"But how…?" Rogue looked at Xavier. 

"Irene has agreed to stay here for a few days," Xavier told her. 

"Not for long however," She said. "I fear Magneto is still looking for me." 

"Don't worry," Scott said. "You're safe here."

"BLOB STOP EATING ALL THE FOOD!" Kurt shouted. "YOU JUST GOT HERE!" 

"I'm hungry!" Fred shouted. The sounds of something breaking filled the hallway. 

"Oh yeah," Rogue groaned. "The gang's all here tonight!" 

**Next up: The party starts to swing in motion. **


	3. Cocktails Anyone?

**Cocktails Anyone?**

Soon everyone was mingling in the main living room. Well, by mingling it meant that most of the X-Men were in one corner, the Misfits were in the back of the room, the four human girls were in another corner, Duncan and the other football players were lounging around the punch bowl, the adults were by the fireplace and finally Kurt and Amanda were hiding in the next room. Well actually Kurt was hiding and Amanda was sticking with him. Each group was giving death glares to the other. 

"Yeah this was a brilliant idea," Shipwreck snickered to Ororo. "I can just feel the love." 

"Just give this a chance," Ororo said. "Where's Kurt and Amanda?"

"They're hiding in the next room," Cover Girl told her. "I think he's still a little self conscious." 

"He really shouldn't be," Shipwreck said. "Xi isn't."

"Well Xi is…" Logan started to say something. Then he thought the better of it. "Not as…shy as Kurt is when it comes to looks," He covered quickly. 

"I'll go talk to him," Ororo sighed as she walked off.

"Come on Logan," Jinx took him by the arm. "I haven't had time to talk to you in a while," They moved away. 

"Well I guess that just leaves you and me," Shipwreck sided over to Ms. March. "So dollface, what are your interests?"

"Well you are definitely not one of them," Ms. March growled. 

"Oh lord," Xavier sighed. 

"Oh the bane of the existence of all women," Roadblock sighed. "Shipwreck strikes again!" 

"How much you wanna bet she slugs him within ten minutes?" Low Light asked. 

"Actually it will be more like fifteen," Irene said. "Trust me on this." 

Meanwhile over at the Misfit corner….

"Geeze Al, don't you think you're overdoing it a little with you hanging onto Toad like that?" Lance groaned. 

Althea was draped over Todd. "No way," She sniffed. "I want those stuck up losers from Bayville High to squirm with envy! Especially how they've treated my man!"

"Oh baby," Todd cooed as he looked into her eyes. "You know how to make a guy feel like a million!"

"Yeah well it's not exactly envy they're squirming from," Wanda pointed out the faces some of the girls were making as they looked in their direction. 

"This party is so DOA," Pietro said. 

"What do you mean?" Fred asked.

"Dead on Arrival," Pietro explained. "Which is not surprising considering the X-Men are throwing it. Well somebody's gotta breathe life into this corpse so I guess it's up to me!" He preened his hair. "Time to go work my magic." He zoomed over to the girls and immediately started flirting with them. 

"Yeah Pietro's right," Fred looked around. "I've been in funeral homes that were a lot more fun than this. Actually I lived in a funeral home that was a lot more interesting than this. It was only for a few weeks but man…"

"Freddy please do not, I repeat do not tell us!" Lance groaned. 

"Man I thought my past was bizarre," Althea said. 

"You have no idea," Lance groaned. "But he does have a point. We should really do something to liven things up."

"Hmmm…" Todd looked around. "I think I got an idea…"

"That's my baby," Althea grinned. 

"Oh no…." Lance groaned. 

Meanwhile over at the X-Men corner things were not going as planned either. "I feel like I'm on display or something," Rogue grumbled. "I knew this was a mistake."

"Look we are the hosts," Jean said. "We should at least try to be sociable." 

"Sociable?" Rogue grumbled. "How can you be sociable with those jerks? Especially my idiot brother." 

"Hey give Kurt a break he's not used to being in front of so many people without his image inducer," Scott said.

"My other idiot brother Scott," Rogue told him. 

"Oh," Scott blushed. "Sorry." 

"You're not the only one," Rogue sighed. 

"Rogue you should at least try to mingle," Jean said. "I mean that this is your party after all." 

"I think Pietro is doing that job a lot better than I ever would," Rogue pointed out. Pietro was flirting with the four girls, annoying them. 

"Oh great," Jean sighed. "I'd better go do something." She went off to try to break it up. 

"I am so sick of this!" Tabitha looked around. "This party is so dead!"

"Just give it a chance," Scott said.

"Ha!" Rogue grumbled. 

Meanwhile by the punch bowl the football players were staking out the room. "Why are we here man?" A football player named George asked. 

"I told you Blake," Duncan groaned. "We're not gonna let these freaks intimidate us! And what better way to do it on their turf?" 

"He's got a point," Another said. "Still it's gonna be a drag."

"What do you mean Ralph?" Blake asked. 

"I mean there aren't any decent girls here except for the pep squad," Ralph pointed. "And ever since I broke up with Tiffany…"

"Say no more," Duncan said. "I know where you're coming from. Those X-Freaks have been giving me the evil eye ever since I got here." 

"Especially the bimbo squad," Blake sniffed. "Who need's 'em. I mean you see how those guys look at us as if we'd take away their girlfriends? Like anyone would want to do it with a freak in the first place!" 

"I dunno," George looked around. "There are definitely a few freak chicks around here that are shaggable if you get my drift. Might be fun to you know, take a walk down freak lane to see what it's all about?" 

"Well if I did want to do it with a mutant, I'd definitely do it with one that was more obvious than that lying tramp I used to date," Duncan growled. "Like that one over there."

"What the one with black hair and blue streaks?" George looked.

"No way, she's the Toad's girlfriend," He sniffed. "Obviously no class whatsoever. I mean that one right there, what's her name?" 

"Dunno," George looked. "It's pretty hard to tell." He saw Linda and Mindy walk by. "Hey do either of you know the name of that weird girl over there?"

"Which one?" Mindy asked. 

"The green one," Duncan pointed. "The one that looks like a snake."

"Duncan, that's a guy!" Mindy rolled her eyes.

"No way," Duncan said. "I mean look at the body. That is definitely not a guy's body!"

"Yeah then how do you explain the lack of breasts?" Linda asked.

"That doesn't prove anything," George snickered. "That Pryde chick doesn't have much in the bra department as well." 

"Yeah and look how she walks," Duncan said.

"Oh please that is so a guy walk," Mindy rolled her eyes again.

"That is not a guy walk," Duncan said. "Trust me on this!" 

"Well I'm pretty sure it's a guy," Mindy said.

"You care to bet on that?" Duncan grinned.

"What are you saying?" Blake asked. "Oh man you are not actually gonna hit on a freak are you?"

"Think of it as a challenge," Duncan grinned. 

"Duncan!" Mindy gasped. "Gross!" 

"You'd do it with anything in a skirt wouldn't you?" Linda recoiled in disgust. 

"I prefer 'em without skirts, and underwear," Duncan leered. "She looks desperate enough. I'll bet I could get her on her back in no time." 

"Well what if it is a guy?" George asked.

"Then we beat him up," Duncan took a swig of punch. "Boys, I'd say this punch is missing something." He showed them a flask. 

"Oh yeah," The football players snickered as they covered for Duncan. He poured the contents into the punch bowl. "This is gonna be good! Gonna get those freaks wasted." 

Of course no one else noticed this. Most of them were too busy watching the girls snap at Jean. Jean returned to the X-Men in a huff. "Well that was a huge waste of time," She grumbled.

"What happened?" Scott asked.

"Forget it," Jean waved. "I made a mistake. How could I have ever been friends with a couple of…stuck up, self absorbed jerks!"

"Well you do have a lot in common with them," Pietro zipped up to them. 

"Shut up Pietro! You've done enough!" Jean snapped.

"What did he do?" Rogue asked.

"Oh I just casually mentioned what happened the Sadie Hawkins Dance," Pietro blew on his fingers. "And how Jean was with Duncan while secretly she wanted to be with Summers. Right before the monsters showed up. And of course someone had to tell them where they came from in the first place. Can you believe they had no idea how that actually happened? I was shocked at their lack of information!"

"So naturally you had to tell them it was our fault!" Scott snapped. 

"You just had to bring that up didn't you Pietro?" Rogue growled.

"Well yes," Pietro grinned. 

"Great now they hate us more than ever," Kitty groaned. "Those girls will tell the entire school about that stupid experiment!" 

"Man," Forge groaned. "I'm never gonna live that down!"

"Not to mention Blue Boy," Pietro pointed out. "Well I'd love to chat with you all night but I think it's time I must be going. Toodles!" He zipped off. 

"Great! Just great!" Rogue groaned. "Some party this is! More than half the guests hate our guts, we got a hostile chaperone, the Blob is eating all the food," She pointed to Freddy who shoved several football players away from the buffet. "Pietro's already starting trouble and the party's only been goin' on for twenty minutes!" 

"YOU PIG!" Ms. March shouted as she slapped Shipwreck.

"Told you," Irene said as she collected money from Low Light.

"Not to mention Shipwreck is hitting on the chaperones again," Remy sighed. "That man is persistent, Gambit give him that!" 

"Oh yeah she's gonna really give us a glowing report now," Kitty rolled her eyes. "Now all that's left is…"

"Hi Kitty!" Lance walked over.

"Right on time!" Rogue groaned. "I'm gonna go talk to Irene for a minute!" She walked over to her. 

"This is not going well for you is it?" Irene said.

"Ya think?" Rogue sighed. "Sorry, it's just…the last thing I wanted was a lot of pressure and…"

"I know," Irene carefully hugged her. "Even without using my powers I can tell it's going to be a long night." 

"Well at least one good thing came out of all this," Rogue sighed. "At least I get to see you again. Where have you been?"

"Moving from place to place," Irene told her. "Hiding from both your Mother and Magneto. It has not been easy."

"I can imagine," Rogue sighed. "But I don't get it, Mystique I can kind of understand, but Magneto?"

"He has discovered somehow that I betrayed him," Irene said. "And I believe he intends to use my powers to further his own goals."

"Great," Rogue rolled her eyes. "Old Bucket Head is still out there causing trouble!"

"He's also your…" Irene spoke.

"I know who he is!" Rogue snapped. "I just…wanted to forget about him. Even for one night you know. Actually I'd love to forget everything that's been going on lately. But nooooo, Storm had to throw this party!"

"Only because they care about you," She pointed out. 

"Yeah but still…" Rogue said. "It's not gonna go well. I know it!"

"Who's the precog here? You or me?" Irene smirked. 

"Hello?" Rogue pointed behind her. "Have you forgotten who else is here?" 

"TOAD GET OFF THE CEILING!" Jean shouted. 

"We're dancing!" Todd shouted as he twirled Althea around the room, mostly hopping from wall to wall.

"There's no music you loon!" Scott snapped. 

"Oh don't be so nitpicky!" Althea snapped. 

"Get down here!" Jean shouted.

"Make us!" Todd stuck his tongue at her. 

"Hey! Stop eating all the food you big ape!" George snapped.

"Outta my face!" Fred shoved him aside. 

"Ewwww!" Mindy screamed. "Look at that…that…what is he?" She pointed at Kurt. "What is it? Some kind of demon?"

"He is not!" Amanda snapped. 

"God Amanda what are you some kind of freak lover?" Mindy gasped.

"So what if I am?" Amanda snapped. "You wanna make something out of it?"

"Hey if you want to waste yourself on a monster it's no skin off my nose," Mindy sniffed.

"DIE!" Amanda jumped on top of Mindy and they started to fight. 

"I got five bucks says Amanda will clean her clock!" Lance hooted.

"You're on!" Duncan snapped.

"Oh great!" Hank groaned. "This will really go over well with Ms. March!"

"I'm afraid she has other concerns right about now," Xavier pointed to the corner where Ms. March was being hit on again by Shipwreck. 

"Come on babe how about you and me go in the back…" Shipwreck whispered something to Ms. March. 

"That's it!" Ms. March shouted as she shoved Shipwreck into a wall. "I'm gonna kill you!" She then started to beat Shipwreck up.

"Was it something I said?" He shouted as he tried to get away from her.

"Well that's one way to get her from seeing any fights going on," Hank sighed. "ALL RIGHT ALL OF YOU KNOCK IT OFF! FRED PUT THAT FOOTBALL PLAYER DOWN! TOAD DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT SLIMING ANY OF THE GUESTS! GIRLS BREAK IT UP!" 

Rogue looked at the pandemonium in the room. Several small fights were already breaking out and the remaining adults were trying hard to stop it. "I've said it before and I'll say it again," Rogue told them. "I didn't want this party!" 

************************************************************************

"Shipwreck we'd better hurry," Lance said as they hid in the kitchen a few minutes later. "They'll never believe we took this long to find an ice pack!" 

"Just keep a look out will ya?" Shipwreck told him. He was placing some very nice pieces of silverware in some hidden pockets in his pants. 

"I can't believe we're swiping the X-Geeks' silverware," Lance whispered.

"Think of them as party favors," Shipwreck said. 

"You know Roadblock would say that the point of you Joes having us is to reform us former Brotherhood members," Lance said.

"And your point is?" 

"No point, I'd just thought I'd say it. Don't forget the napkin rings," Lance tensed up when he heard a noise. "Someone's coming!" 

Shipwreck managed to hide his thievery as soon as Rogue and Jean walked in. "Well we've finally managed to stop the fight," Rogue muttered. "For now anyway." 

"Is she still out there?" Shipwreck gulped.

"Yes but she's promised not to kill you if you stay away from her," Jean said.

"Come on you all better get back inside," Rogue pointed to the door. 

"Fine," Lance shrugged. "I wanna talk to Kitty some more!"

"Last I heard she was talking to Colossus," Rogue said.

"What?" Lance ran out.

"Thanks a lot Rogue!" Jean groaned as they went back into the room. Lance was already confronting Peter and Kitty. 

"Well it's not like we didn't know that this was gonna happen anyway," Shipwreck shrugged. 

"I need a drink of punch," Jean muttered as she went over to the punch bowl. 

Rogue sighed as Shipwreck went over to break up the potential fight. She saw Kurt hanging around the bathroom in the hall. "How's Amanda?" 

"I'm fine," Amanda walked out. Her cheek was scratched. "You should see the cheerleader!" 

"Who'd have thought you'd have had a great right hook?" Rogue chuckled.

Jean walked in with a cup of punch. "Duncan is disgusting!" Jean snapped. 

"What'd he do?" Kurt asked.

"Let's just say he's got his mind in the gutter," Jean sighed. "Scott nearly punched him out."

"I hope Ms. March didn't see that," Amanda sighed.

"No she was distracted by Tabitha blowing up a few of the decorations," Jean sighed. "They're getting restless out there! The Professor wanted me to tell you guys to come in. It's present time."

"Oh goody," Rogue rolled her eyes.

"You know this punch is really good," Jean nodded. "I think I'll get some more. By the way have you seen Logan and Jinx? Come to think of it, Toad and Althea are missing too." 

"No I haven't…" Rogue began. Then there were sounds coming from the closet. "But I think I have a clue where those hormone crazed Misfit maniacs are!" She went to the door. "All right you two! Knock it off! You…!" She opened the door wide.

"Oh my god!" Amanda gasped.

"I definitely need another drink of punch!" Jean stumbled away. 

"Logan, Jinx will you two stop making out in the closet!" Rogue snapped. "Oh god I hate birthday parties!" 


	4. Time for Presents

**Time For Presents**

"All right everyone!" Jean said cheerfully. "It's time for Rogue's presents!"

"Yippee," Mindy growled. She had a black eye and she looked slightly disheveled. 

"Oh goody," Rogue muttered to herself as she was escorted into the middle of the room. She felt like she was being led to the gallows. 

"Okay how would you like to open up your presents?" Hank asked cheerfully.

"How about I go up to my room instead?" Rogue groaned. 

"Come on Birthday Girl," Hank sat her down in a huge green chair in the middle of the room. "This will be fun!" 

"Yeah a real blast," Rogue sighed as she picked up the first present. "So which one should I open up first?"

"Open this one!" Kurt said. "It's from me!" 

"Okay," She opened up the package. "Wow! It's a silver bracelet! Hey this is pretty nice."

"Actually it's white gold," Kurt said. "Amanda helped pick it out."

"It's beautiful," Rogue put it on. 

"Oooh!" All the females in the room looked at it wide eyed. 

"What is it with women and jewelry?" Bobby asked Scott who simply shrugged. 

"Hey maybe this birthday party won't be so bad after all," Rogue said. "Thanks Kurt."

"Open ours next!" Pietro handed her a box with silver wrapping. "Me and Wanda got you a separate gift since you are our sister and all." 

"Well, that's really nice of you two. What the heck?" Rogue blinked as she opened the present. She lifted up a several pages of something. "These are all pictures of Lance, Scott and Remy!"

"What?" Lance snapped. 

"Are you kidding?" Scott asked. 

"It's a calendar," Pietro said. "I knew you wouldn't be interested in one of me so Wanda and I put one together of the other guys you liked and Lance."

"As much as I hate to admit it, Lance does have a hot body," Wanda shrugged.

"Hey!" Lance and Kitty snapped at the same time. 

"Nothing says love like a homemade present," Pietro grinned.

"What in the world would make you lunatics think I would be interested in something like…HELLO!" Rogue's jaw dropped when she turned the page. 

"Oh my god!" Kitty's eyes widened.

"HOW DID YOU GET THOSE PICTURES?" Remy shouted.

"That's what I want to know!" Lance snapped. "Okay I can see how you managed to get pictures of me in the shower but how did you guys get those two?"

"Yeah how could you get pictures without us seeing you?" Remy fumed. 

"Trade secret," Wanda grinned. 

"Hey uh…can I make a copy of that one?" Kitty asked Rogue.

"Oh my," Jean quickly took another drink of punch. "My this punch is good!" 

"I will take this!" Ororo snapped as she grabbed the calendar.

"Hey that's her present!" Wanda protested.

"She'll get it back when she's 21!" Ororo snapped. "Next!" 

"Shipwreck…" Logan growled. 

"What makes you think I knew anything about it?" Shipwreck asked. "I don't even know anything about photography. If anyone does it's Cover Girl!"

"I should have known!" Ororo glared at her. 

"Busted," Todd snickered.

"Wonderful," Ms. March said. "Distributing pornographic material to minors as a birthday present. Such wonderful family values." 

"It's erotic not porn," Cover Girl snapped. "I mean, that was very, very bad of you two! We will have a serious talk when we get home!"

"Does that mean you don't want your share of the negatives?" Wanda quipped. 

"Quiet!" Cover Girl hissed. 

"Well it's the thought that counts," Althea said. 

"Speaking of thoughts I think we should move along now shall we?" Hank said. "Oh here's one from Scott. Open that up." He quickly shoved the present into her hands. 

It turned out to be a pair of expensive black leather gloves. "These are nice Scott," Rogue said as she traded the pair she had on for them. "Thank you." 

"It's also practical considering your mutation," Ms. March sniffed. 

"I wasn't thinking of that," Scott looked at her. He was trying hard not to be annoyed.

"It's a nice thought anyway," Rogue said, desperate to avoid as many arguments as possible. "Let's see the next present."

"She's a real Little Miss Sunshine isn't she?" Low Light whispered to Hank.

"I'd love to stick something up where the sun doesn't shine…" Hank growled. 

"Okay who gave me gum?" Rogue looked around. 

"Not just any gum!" Bobby piped up. "It's flavored gum from around the world!" 

"You're a real Mr. Continental ain't ya?" Todd quipped. 

"What's this here?" Rogue picked up another package and opened it. "Hey it's some mystery books!"

"I knew you like to read those," Hank said. "They're from Ororo and myself."

"Thanks Storm! Mr. McCoy," Rogue said. 

"I'm glad you like them," Hank smiled. "Now you'll have something to write about when I assign the book reports next week!" 

"Wonderful," Rogue rolled her eyes. 

"How about you open my gift next Rogue?" Kitty asked as she sipped another drink of punch. 

"Why not?" Rogue opened the box. "Hey, it's a nice sweater," She admired the green sweater. "This is nice. Thanks Kitty." 

"Hey!" Jean said. "That's the sweater I wanted! You said they were out of them!"

"I lied," Kitty said. "Face it Jean it looks better on Rogue anyway." 

"Well of course, if it's for Rogue, I understand," Jean said simply. "Where is that punch bowl?" 

"Whose is this?" Rogue picked up a small box. 

"Mine. I didn't know what to get you," Paul said. "I hope you like it."

"No I like Godiva chocolates," Rogue said. "Thank you Paul. That was real nice of you." 

"Chocolates are great," Jean muttered underneath her breath. "Maybe she'll grow out of that sweater and then I can have it."

"Jean!" Scott hissed, overhearing her. 

"Huh?" Jean looked confused. "Did I say that out loud? Sorry." 

"Let's see, this one's from Amara," She unwrapped the box. "Holy…!"

"What is it the wrong color?" Amara asked.

"I don't know," She held up an actual stuffed rabbit. Stuffed as in taxidermy.

"I've heard of giving people stuffed animals but this is ridiculous!" Lance exclaimed. 

"Amara is this some kind of Roma Novan custom we don't know about?" Xavier asked.

"Oh no!" Amara blinked. "That's supposed to be for my Uncle Kiearu! It's his birthday next week and he's a shaman of sorts. He collects…things."

"That's a good word for it," Rogue looked at it. 

"I must have mixed up the boxes and mailed your gift to him!" She exclaimed. "Boy is he going to be surprised when he gets a couple of girl's shirts and a charm bracelet instead!" 

"Well at least you didn't mail a bra," Pietro snickered. 

"Oh god…" Rogue looked at it. "I thought my relatives had weird tastes."

"Well think of it as a good luck charm," Amara shrugged.

"Why? It wasn't lucky for the rabbit!" Todd exclaimed. 

"Oh that is just plain disgusting," Ms. March 

"Let's go to the next gift!" Rogue dropped it and picked up another package. 

"It's from me," Tabitha said. "Hope you like it. I know you're a fan." 

"It's a CD," Rogue said. "Thanks Tabitha."

"Yes," Ms. March looked at it over her shoulder. "An Ozzy Osborne CD. Wonderful. Just what I'd expect."

"Hey you can't say he doesn't have any family values!" Tabitha snapped.

"I don't like your tone young lady," Ms. March said evenly.

"And I don't like you acting like the Present Police judging every little thing!" Tabitha snapped. "Who do you think you are…?"

"Tabitha how about you help me get some more appetizers? Okay that's good," Hank started to steer her away. 

"Yeah I'd figure you'd want to get that girl alone with no witnesses," Ms. March said.

"Hold on a minute!" Hank snapped as he whirled around. "Just are you implying you close minded…" 

"You know I think I'll help both of you in the kitchen!" Ororo grabbed both their arms and escorted them to the back. 

"I hate her!" Tabitha's voice carried over.

"I hate her too!" Hank snapped as well. 

"Both of you pipe down and behave yourselves!" Ororo shouted. 

"She started it!" Tabitha and Hank both whined before the voices disappeared in the back. 

"Well this is going well," Scott sighed. 

"Better do the Misfits' next," Jean said. "Knowing our luck it will probably be a bomb. Not that this party isn't already a bomb."

"Jean!" Scott hissed. "What's the matter with you? Keep it down! Rogue could hear you! We're trying to make this as nice a day as possible for Rogue." 

"Yeah heaven forbid that Rogue's day get ruined," Jean muttered as she sipped more punch. 

"Our present's next!" Todd said. "And it's the best one of all!"

"Well can't be weirder than the last one," Rogue sighed as she opened it up. "I was wrong." She held up an object in her hand. 

"Nunchucks?" Logan blinked. "You gave her nunchucks?" 

"And matching throwing stars," Xi added.

"You gave her weapons?" Ms. March gasped in shock. 

"Actually this is the first practical gift I've gotten all evening," Rogue said menacingly. 

"Just what kind of school are you running here Xavier?" Ms. March asked.

"Do you really wanna know lady?" Low Light asked.

"Uh Rogue how about another gift?" Xavier said quickly. "This one's from Amanda!" 

It turned out to be another sweater top. "Oh great!" Jean muttered. "I wanted that one too!" 

"My gift next," Xavier said. He handed her an envelope. 

"What?" She looked at it and opened it.

"Bet it's cash," Duncan whispered to his buddies.

"A gift certificate to a furniture store?" Rogue blinked.

"Well, since you will be moving into your own room I thought you could decorate it however you wanted," Xavier smiled.

"I'm finally gonna have my own room?" Rogue asked.

"We've finally finished the repairs on the guest room in the girls' quarters," Xavier said. "I've decided it will be yours."

"Oh thank you Professor!" Rogue hugged him. "That's the best gift so far! Peace of mind at last! My own room!"

"Yeah and it's also the biggest room in the wing," Jean muttered to herself as she sipped her punch. "It figures." 

"Okay I'll open Jean's gift next," Rogue picked up the package. It was a journal with a bookmark, a gold pen and a set of nice stationery. "Well this is nice."

"You gave her paper?" Todd asked. "The diary I can see but paper?" 

"It's writing paper!" Jean snapped. 

"Who's she gonna write to?" Pietro asked. "She lives with all the friends she has!"

"Well maybe it's not as flashy as getting your own room but it's the thought that counts," Jean said. "Hear that. The thought!" 

"In your case it's the thought that stinks," Pietro quipped. 

"Why you…" Jean growled. 

"It's very nice Jean!" Rogue said quickly. "Next!"

"Good idea," Peter said. "This one's from me!" It was a crystal figurine of a horse. "I saw you looking at it. It is one of those fancy crystal figurines."

"It's beautiful," Rogue admired it. "I love it!"

"See?" Pietro remarked. "Even the Tin Man got her a better present than paper! What were you thinking?"

"Are you kidding?" Todd remarked. "The dead rabbit was a better present than that." 

"Do any of you Misfits even know how to **act** like a person?" Jean snapped. "I'm just curious!"

"Jean just drop it and ignore them," Rogue sighed. 

"I will not just drop it! They're getting on my nerves! They've been doing it all night!" Jean snapped.

"Jean they've been doing it since the first day we ever met any of them! Just let it go!" Rogue groaned. 

"Will you please talk to them?" Xavier asked Shipwreck.

"I dunno Charley I gotta agree with them on the paper thing," Shipwreck said. 

"What is wrong with writing paper? It's a nice gift! And it wasn't the only thing I got her ya know?" Jean snapped.

"Will everybody just shut up about the stupid writing paper and forget it?" Rogue shouted. "Let's just keep going huh?" 

"See Jean even Rogue thinks your paper is stupid," Pietro remarked. 

"Pietro if you don't keep your big trap shut I'm gonna stuff that paper right up your…" Rogue growled.

"Oh look here's some more presents!" Kitty quickly shoved another gift into her hands. "Hey this is from Linda and the others."

"You got me a present?" Rogue was surprised. 

"It would be gauche if we didn't bring a gift," Tiffany sniffed. "We're not uncivilized." 

"You got me a gift certificate to Girly Girlz?" Rogue blinked. "That boutique with all the pink clothes and the feathers and the glitter?" 

"And you thought the stuffed rabbit was disgusting?" Wanda asked Ms. March. "What the bozos from the Jock brigade get?" 

"Dude nobody told us we were supposed to bring a gift," Ralph said. 

"It figures," Kitty rolled her eyes. 

"I think now would be a good time for my present," Irene said. She handed her a very ornately carved wooden box. "This jewelry box has been in my family for generations. Handed down from mother to daughter. It is yours now."

"Wow," Rogue looked inside and felt the lining. "This is…amazing. Thank you Irene!" 

"That is pretty cool," Althea looked at it.

"Oh yeah she gets an old box and nobody complains," Jean muttered to herself as she sipped another drink.

"Is that everything?" Rogue asked.

"Not quite," Sam said as he handed her something. 

"This is something Roberto, Sam and I made," Jamie said. "It's a tape!"

"Oh well let's watch it," Kitty said cheerfully. She went to a television on the other side of the room and put it in the VCR. "Get the lights Bobby!"

It got dark in the room. "SHIPWRECK GET YOUR HAND OFF MY BUTT!" Cover Girl snapped.

"Oh sorry," Jinx apologized. "That was me. I thought you were Logan." 

"Oh god…" Rogue rolled her eyes. 

A shot of the three boys were on TV. "Hey this is Sam," Sam spoke.

"Jamie," Jamie said. 

"And Roberto!" Roberto grinned. "And this video is specially made for our good buddy Rogue. The hottest girl in Bayville!"

"I think I need another drink of punch," Jean muttered. 

"Okay this is sort of a parody of a song here," Jamie said. "It's a parody of a song we don't own called 'I Love Rock and Roll'. We don't own the original song so don't sue us or anything. We made up the words to this stuff though. We call it 'I Love My Girl Rogue' and we even have a guest singer and everything!"

"Guest singer?" Rogue blinked. "Does anybody know anything about this?"

"Unfortunately yes," Remy groaned. 

"So take it away!" Jamie on the screen shouted. Then it faded out to a stage with some pyrotechnic explosions. Then the music played with Sam, Roberto and Jamie (with several clones of himself) playing music. Then there was a shot of Remy all in black leather. He started to sing. 

_"I've seen a lot of girl's around at school, but they ain't worth my time I'm no fool. You make a man feel bold, even when you act cold. There's just one girl that's good enough for me,"_

"Yeah me!" The other boys sang. 

__

"Don't need to look no more cause I like what I see!" Remy sang. 

_"Baby, I love my girl Rogue. So why don't you give me half a chance baby! I love my girl Rogue! So why not go on a date with me?" _All the boys sang on the video. 

"Let me guess," Logan asked. "Jamie wrote the lyrics?" 

__

Remy kept singing on screen. _"My heart skips a beat when I hear her name. She's got the looks that put other girls to shame! Any girl that disses her is a snot! They're just jealous cause she's so hot! And if people call me a fool that's fine with me! Don't need no one else cause there's only one girl for me! Only me! Sing it!"_

"Baby I love my girl Rogue, So why don't you give me half a chance baby! I love my girl Rogue! So why not go on a date with me!" They all sang. There were more explosions and shots of them all playing instruments like rock stars.

__

"Make it talk!" Jamie shouted on the screen as Sam played a guitar solo. 

"Make it stop…"Rogue sank lower into her seat. 

Remy kept singing on screen._ "Nothin' beats my Southern belle! She's the one girl that I fell…And if I gotta wait until I'm old and gray that's fine with me! She's worth every moment you see! Baby! I love my girl Rogue, so why don't you give me half a chance baby! I love my girl Rogue! So why not go on a date with me?" _

As they kept singing on screen, Rogue glared at Remy. Remy glared at Jamie, Sam and Roberto. "Gambit was told that Rogue would see this in private!" He said. 

"You should have read the fine print in your contract," Jamie said. "Oh watch! Here comes the best part!"

"So that's where all those burn marks on the lawn came from," Xavier said. 

"Gambit was broke!" Remy pleaded. 

"Gambit will be **_broken _**when I get a hold of him," Rogue growled. "Please tell me that was the last gift!" 

"Not quite," Forge smiled as he handed her a strange box. "My gift next. All you have to do is push that button to open it and stand back!"

"Are you sure?" Rogue looked at the strange contraption.

"Trust me," Forge smiled. "I made it myself."

"Uh oh…" Todd said. "Stand back everybody!" 

Hesitantly Rogue pushed the button. Music came out of the box and suddenly several sparklers and miniature fireworks began to spark. "You gave her explosives?" Ms. March shouted.

"Actually it's a light show," Forge said. "Umm…maybe I should have done this outside." That was when the box started to explode. The room started to shake. And projectiles flew out. 

"Jean!" Scott shouted. Jean managed to use her telekinesis to contain the blast but it still rocked the room.

"What's going on?" Hank shouted as he and the others ran in. They saw several people knocked down onto the floor and several things broken or fallen off shelves. "Oh dear…" 

"Wow and you guys complain about my explosives!" Tabitha looked around.

"Is everybody else okay?" Scott asked.

"By okay if you mean scared out of our wits yes!" Linda snapped. "But I think Mr. Xavier might need some medical attention!" Xavier was flat on his back with the wheels of his wheelchair sticking up. 

"Chuck? Chuck wake up!" Logan tried to wake him up. "Chuck can you hear me?"

"Hi Nanny," Xavier said in a funny voice. "I wanna go to the park today. But first I'm gonna go have a nap, nap now." He passed out. 

"Chuck!" Logan snapped. "Forge you are so dead!" At this Forge ran for his life. 

"Run Forge, Run!" Pietro shouted. "Run like the wind!" 

"I'll take him to the infirmary," Roadblock picked Xavier up. "Do we have any other casualties?" 

"Owie…" Ms. March moaned. "My head hurts…"

"Looks like she got bonked in the head too," Low Light remarked. 

"Oh well then it wasn't a total loss," Tabitha quipped. 

"I think that concludes the gift giving portion of the evening," Ororo sighed. 

"Well actually no," Rogue looked at Logan. "I might be getting another gift any day now. Right Logan?" 

"Me and my big mouth," Logan sighed. 


	5. Got Cake?

**Got Cake? **

"Well I knew this party would be a blast but…" Pietro quipped. It was about ten minutes later and still some of the guests were shaken up. 

"Are your parties always like this?" Paul asked.

"Pretty much," Althea said.

"Oh thanks a lot!" Scott snapped at her.

"I should have known this was a mistake to come here," Mindy sniffed. "The last time we were around mutants they wrecked the school!"

"Actually it was Lance who wrecked the school," Bobby said.

"How many times do I have to say that was an accident?" Lance shouted.

"Lots!" Peter snapped.

"You wanna make something out of this?" Lance snapped.

"Lance shut up and come with me," Kitty grabbed his arm and dragged him away from Peter. "Before another fight breaks out!"

"What's going on here?" Ralph asked. 

"Oh it's the same old love triangle," Pietro zipped over to him. "Both Lance and Peter have the hots for Kitty and have been fighting over her. She can't make up her mind who she likes because they're both idiots."

"Pietro," Rogue growled.

"Well it's true!" Pietro snapped.

"Well I'll agree Lance is an idiot but…" Remy started to defend his teammate. 

Ms. March stormed out into the room with a bandage on her head. "I'm fine!" She snapped. "I certainly do not need to be looked over by anyone! Much less a mutant with big clumsy hands!" 

"Oh look people the life of the party is back," Pietro quipped. 

Ms. March glared at him as she overheard his comment. "I knew this was a mistake having mutants and humans socialize together! You are nothing but trouble! I should cancel this party right now!"

"Okay lady," Logan growled. "In the first place, this isn't your party. You are guests at our party. And you haven't exactly been acting like the perfect guests if you get my drift!" 

"Oh really?" Ms. March growled.

"Yeah really!" Logan snapped.

"Here we go again," Althea said.

"Okay who wants to bet on who's gonna win this fight?" Todd asked looking around. 

"There will not be another fight!" Ororo said. 

"Wanna bet?" Todd snickered. 

"This is not good," Scott moaned. 

"Actually this is pretty typical of us," Kurt told him. "People fighting, a destroyed room. That's us all right." 

"Well at least the punch was saved!" Jean said a little too brightly. 

"You're just lucky none of my students were hurt!" Ms. March snapped.

"Hey some of our kids could have been hurt as well!" Logan snapped.

"Who cares about them?" Ms. March snapped.

"Why you…" Logan growled.

"Okay Logan why don't you go check on Charles' condition?" Ororo steered him away from her. "And Kurt, Kitty why don't you get some more refreshments for our guests?"

Ororo's efforts still did not diffuse the atmosphere of mistrust. "Guys maybe we should get out of here," Nancy said. "I mean next time one of us might get killed!"

"No way!" Linda said. "I'm not running from them!" 

"Oh what a brilliant idea this was," Pietro said. "Throwing a party and inviting the Bayville Boobs!"

"Listen Pietro that kind of talk is not helping!" Scott snapped.

"Oh and nearly setting the mansion on fire was?" Pietro looked at him. 

"Pietro's right," Lance said. "For once Summers you can't blame this disaster on us!" 

"WILL SOMEBODY GET THIS SAILOR AWAY FROM ME BEFORE I KILL HIM!" Ms. March screamed as Shipwreck tried to move in on her again. 

"Okay maybe just a little bit of it is Shipwreck's fault," Lance said. 

"I hate parties!" Rogue groaned. "Fred stop eating all the food!"

"I'm bored and hungry!" Fred snapped between mouthfuls. "Deal with it!" 

Logan and Hank walked back in. "Well the good news is there isn't any damage," Hank said. "The bad news is he'll be unconscious all night."

"That's **bad** news?" Pietro quipped. "Sounds like a plus to me!" 

"Do you have to make a comment about everything?" Scott snapped at him.

"Of course I do. What kind of stupid question is that?" Pietro asked. "Oh wait, this is you we're talking about."

"Listen you…" Scott snapped.

"Here's some more drinks!" Kitty wheeled out a tray. "We got some nice tropical fruit juice!"

"That's a great idea!" Hank said. "Since for some reason Jean's drinking all the punch over there."

"I like it! You got a problem with that?" Jean snapped. 

"Kurt, Kitty pass the rest of the food out," Ororo said.

"Good idea," Cover Girl said. "Maybe we should bring out the cake as well."

"What we should bring out is the undertaker," Pietro said. "This party needs it!" 

"You people are driving us crazy!" Scott snapped.

"Sounds like a short ride to me," Pietro quipped. 

"Hey anybody want some punch?" Jean waved. Everyone ignored her. She shrugged and poured herself another glass. "Oh well, more for me!" 

"This was a mistake," Ms. March growled. "Nothing good ever comes from mixing with mutants!"

"Please Ms. March give this a chance. Here have a drink," Hank handed her some juice. Then the glass slipped from his hand and spilled all over her. 

"You spilled juice all over my dress!" Ms. March shouted. 

"Oops," Hank said. "My mistake. You know how clumsy these big mutant hands are." 

"You did that on purpose you big ape! I'm gonna…" Ms. March snapped.

"Hey I got an idea," Tabitha said. "Look why don't you come in the back with me and we can get that stain out with no problems!"

"You're not gonna blow it up are you?" She looked at Tabitha.

"No way," Tabitha put on an innocent smile. "Come with me!"

"Do you that's a good idea?" Roadblock asked Ororo. 

"Well no but…" Ororo stopped when she heard a commotion. Scott and Pietro were arguing again. "Come on we'd better put a stop to this!"

"And that," Roadblock pointed at another argument that was starting between Lance and Peter. "Cover Girl and I will take care of those two. Storm, you and Shipwreck work on breaking up Scott and Pietro."

"While you're doing that I'll stop those jocks from breaking even more of the Professor's stuff," Low Light pointed to some of the football players playing keep away with an antique vase. 

"I'll help Tabitha and make sure she doesn't blow up Ms. March," Hank said. Then he muttered underneath his breath. "Although I wouldn't mind it so much if she did." 

"Logan maybe you and Jinx could…?" Ororo looked around. They were nowhere to be found. "Great! Where did they go?" 

"It's just you and me honeybunch," Shipwreck snickered. 

"Roadblock I want to change partners!" Ororo shouted. 

The kids were milling around the entire downstairs now. Some had been drawn into arguments. Others were fooling around or exploring the mansion. Duncan had decided that this would be a perfect time to make his move while everyone else was distracted. He had followed Xi into another room. Xi was alone and was looking at the decorations. "So do you come here often?" Duncan asked Xi.

Xi looked at him. "Whenever our group comes here so I suppose the answer is yes."

"So…" Duncan leered. "What's your power?"

"I can turn invisible and I can tell what kinds of abilities others mutants have by touching them," Xi told him. "Do you have a headache? You have a strange look in your eyes?"

"I'd be the last one talking about looks in your case sweets," Duncan grinned.

"Sweets?" Xi asked. 

"Though I bet you're wild in bed," Duncan grinned.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Xi said deciding he had enough of Duncan's company. 

"Oh I bet you do," Duncan barred his way. 

"No I do not," Xi said emphatically. "If you are referring to sexual activity I have not done such a thing. I know very little about such things."

"Oh then maybe you'd like me to teach you," Duncan smiled.

"I don't think so. I do not like your attitude," Xi hissed. 

"We're not that crazy about it either," Todd remarked. He and Althea were now behind Duncan. 

"What the hell are you trying on Xi?" Althea asked as she came between him and Xi. 

"Out of my way skank," Duncan hissed. "This is between me and her!"

The next thing he knew he was shoved into a wall. Before he could say anything he was looking at Todd's eyes. Todd had him pinned to the wall using his legs to cling to it. "First mistake Dumbass," Todd hissed. "Xi ain't a **her!** Second mistake is calling **my **girl a skank! Third mistake…is you showing up in the first place! You see I got issues. And you are part of 'em!" Todd punched the wall next to Duncan's head, leaving a huge hole. 

"Let's work on those issues now shall we?" Xi showed off his claws.

"Let's," Althea punched her hand into her open fist. "Let's drag him out back where they can't hear him scream!" 

"I'll take care of that!" Todd spat out some goo onto his face so he couldn't see or speak. He just left enough for his nose to stick out so he could breathe. The three of them dragged him to the back. The sounds of the party muffled the noise of punches and things breaking. 

Meanwhile the potential fights had been broken up. Several small groups started roaming around the mansion's downstairs. Ororo was trying to herd them all into the main living room with very little success. Especially with Shipwreck bothering her.

"Come on Storm," Shipwreck followed her around. "Why don't you and me go out back and look at the stars for a while?"

"You'll be seeing stars if you don't quit it!" Ororo snapped. 

"Shipwreck this isn't the time for that," Irene walked over to them.

"You're right! How about the three of us all go get some air?" Shipwreck grinned. 

"You'll hit on any reasonably attractive woman won't you?" Irene asked.

"That's right!" Shipwreck said proudly. 

"Where is Logan and his claws when you need them?" Ororo muttered.

Scott was looking around for Jean and found her by the punch bowl. They had gotten separated during his argument with Pietro. He was going to talk to her when he bumped into someone. "Oops sorry, Paul."

"No problem," Paul said. "Did I miss anything?"

"Just another stupid fight with the Misfits," Scott grumbled. "Where were you?" 

"I kind of got lost looking for the bathroom," Paul looked around. "Did you know you had a hole in the kitchen wall?" 

"Yeah we kind of had a few incidents making the food," Scott sighed. "Here's a tip, stay away from all the food at that table over there. Kitty made that."

"Gotcha," Paul nodded. "Not that I care or anything but have you seen Duncan?"

"No I haven't," Scott frowned. "Why?"

"I dunno," Paul looked around. "But I overheard one of those football players saying something about scoring with a mutant chick in green. Part of a bet or something. You might want to keep an eye on him."

"Thanks for the heads up," Scott sighed. "Green huh? Well none of the girls are wearing any green dresses. The only one that has any green on at this party actually is…Xi…" Scott's mouth fell open. 

"Oh god…" Paul's jaw dropped as well. "You don't think…?" 

"Come on," Scott sighed. "We'd better find him and help him out!"

"Who?" Paul quipped. "Duncan or Xi?"

"Paul, Xi's a trained assassin who has serious problems socializing!" Scott said. 

"Oh in that case everything's fine," Paul quipped. "I'm joking. As much as Duncan deserves it, he shouldn't…." 

"Yeah well, I'd better take a look around. Could you do me a favor and look after Jean?" He pointed to her. "Ask her to use her telepathy to make sure there isn't any trouble."

"Good idea," Paul nodded. "We should spilt up. That way we can cover more ground. But maybe we should tell the adults or something?"

"SHIPWRECK WILL YOU QUIT MAKING ADVANCEMENTS TOWARD ME!" Ororo shouted.

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT GOING OUT WITH ME!" Irene could be heard. 

"No Lance you will not settle anything!" Roadblock's voice could be heard. "Save any fighting for a boxing ring!" 

"Hey I'm open!" Ralph shouted. Then the sound of a vase breaking was heard. "Oops."

"JAMIE STOP EATING ALL THE CHIPS!" Amara shouted. "YOU'RE AS BAD AS THE BLOB!"

"HE IS NOT!" Fred shouted. 

"I think they have enough on their minds right now," Scott sighed. Quickly Scott moved away to find Duncan. He saw Rogue who had managed to move away into a corner by herself. 

"Rogue I need your help," Scott whispered. "I think there's gonna be trouble!"

"Oh really?" Rogue said sarcastically. "Gee I never would have guessed."

"I'm serious Rogue," Scott said. "Duncan's been bragging to his buddies on how he's gonna score with a mutant girl tonight."

"Poor Duncan," Rogue snickered. "It's not Jean is it?"

"No it's Xi." 

"Oh man!" Rogue rolled her eyes. "What made him think Xi's a girl?"

"I dunno but boy is he gonna be in for a shock," Scott sighed. "We gotta get to him before Xi does."

"Not to mention Toad and Wavedancer," Rogue said.

"Yeah they've been looking like they want to kill him all evening," Scott said. "And I can't say I blame them. Hey where are they anyway. I don't see those two anywhere!" 

"Let's go find them! If they find out I don't think we can keep them from killing Duncan!" They went back into the kitchen. "Great just great! How could Duncan be so stupid? Wait a minute I think I just answered my own question!" 

"Why what's Duncan done now?" Kitty was in the kitchen with Kurt getting more food.

"Well…" Scott began when all of the sudden there was a commotion outside. 

"I think they already found out," Rogue sighed. 

Althea, Xi and Todd barged in, carrying a battered Duncan headfirst. "Have some cake!" Althea shouted as they threw him face first into one of the cakes on the table. 

"My Birthday Cake!" Rogue wailed. "You ruined one of my birthday cakes!" 

"Don't worry," Kurt waved. "Kitty made that one."

"Oh well in that case thanks you three," Rogue said. "You just saved us all from indigestion." 

"Hey!" Kitty fumed. 

"Is he dead?" Kurt asked.

"Nah just out cold," Todd grinned.

"Way to go you guys!" Kitty snapped. "Now we're really gonna get in trouble!"

"Not if we hide him," Althea said. "We can always say he got drunk on his own or something later." 

"That is a dumb idea!" Rogue said.

"Yeah but considering our circumstances it's worth a try," Scott sighed. 

"But how do we hide this from Ms. March?" Kurt asked.

"Don't worry," Althea waved. "We'll stash 'em in a closet someplace!" 

"How about we stash him in the pool with an anchor tied around his legs?" Todd remarked.

"Works for me," Althea said. 

"I'll take care of it," Scott picked him up.

"Take him around the back," Kitty instructed as Scott left with Duncan. "What did he do besides being his charming self anyway?"

"He hit on Xi and called Althea a bad name," Todd said. "Apparently he thought Xi was a girl for some reason." 

"Well Xi does give off a feminine vibe," Kurt scratched his head.

"Oh no way Kurt!" Kitty fumed. "Xi is like totally male. Well I know he's not really male but still…" 

"Wait a minute," Xi looked around. "You think I can pass as a male while the others believe I can pass as a female?" 

"Well actually Xi," Rogue scratched her head. "You do kind of look like both a guy and a girl in a certain light."

"Both?" Todd blinked. 

"You know those pictures where you look at it one way and you see a rabbit and if you look at it another you see a duck?" Rogue said. "It's kind of like that. I guess it's based on your point of view." 

"You know I never noticed that," Todd looked Xi over. "I can see what you're saying here."

"Why does this suddenly make me feel uncomfortable?" Xi blinked. "I mean I can't help the way I look! Do you really think I have feminine features?" 

"Oh this party's getting better by the minute," Althea shook her head. 

"Look you guys get out of here and we'll bring out one of the cakes okay," Kitty shoved them towards the door. Kurt grabbed the last tray of sandwiches and went out with them. None of them noticed Pietro zipping in behind and sticking some candles on one of the cakes. He grinned and took off. 

Kitty looked back. "Oh we must have put candles on one of the cakes already. That's good. I'll put it on the tray and light the candles." 

Rogue sighed. "I hate parties."

"I love 'em," Todd smiled. 

"You would," Rogue said.

"Hey what's going on down the hall there?" Althea asked. A large group of people was surrounding one of the smaller rooms. 

"What's going on?" Scott asked as they went up to them. 

"Ms. March got stuck in something!" Paul said. 

Sure enough there she was, her bottom sticking out of a laundry chute, her legs were kicking furiously. "GET ME OUT OF THIS THING!" 

"How did she get stuck in the laundry chute?" Ororo shouted. 

"It was an accident," Tabitha smiled. "Really. Ask Mr. McCoy."

"Oh yes," Hank smiled an equally broad smile. "I can vouch for that." 

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Ms. March screamed. 

"I'll get her out," Roadblock said. "But it will be a while. Anybody got a file?"

"Okay how about everyone go back into the main living room and we'll have some birthday cake?" Ororo herded them out of the room and into the next one. 

Kitty wheeled out the cake on a tray as they walked in. She lit the candles with a match. "Happy Birthday to you…"She started singing.

"Happy Birthday to you," Everyone started singing. "Happy Birthday to you… Happy Birthday dear Rogue, Happy Birthday…" 

That was when the cake exploded all over the room. It totally covered Rogue and several X-Men. "What's the matter Pryde?" Pietro laughed. "Can't even light a couple of candles right?" 

"Mmmmmm," Fred took his finger and licked some icing off the wall. "Vanilla." 

"Ewww…" Tiffany whined. "My dress…" 

"I hate birthday parties," Rogue grumbled as she pushed some icing off her face. "I really hate birthday parties!" 


	6. Fireworks

**Fireworks**

"Well it may not be the most romantic setting but at least we're alone," Jinx purred in the dark. 

"Yeah just you and me babe," Logan grinned. He kissed her passionately.

Then the lights came on. "What is going on here?" Ororo snapped as she walked in the open door. 

"We were just having some private time," Jinx blushed.

"IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DANGER ROOM?" Ororo shouted. They were right in the middle of the room.

"We shut the power off," Logan said. "We figured it would be the last place the kids would find us."

"You two are worse than a pair of teenagers!" Ororo snapped. 

"Well what are you doing down here?" Jinx asked.

"Finding a safe port from Shipwreck," Ororo muttered. 

"Good luck," Jinx smirked.

"Look, Charles is still unconscious and Roadblock is going to be stuck trying to get Ms. March out of the laundry chute," Ororo said. "Although I don't think he's in any hurry to get her out."

"In the where?" Logan scratched his head.

"Long story," Ororo sighed. "It was before the exploding birthday cake."

"Exploding birthday cake?" Jinx asked. 

"There they are!" They heard Low Light's voice. 

"What are you all doing hiding in here?" Cover Girl and Low Light walked in. 

"Well Ororo was hiding from Shipwreck and Jinx and I wanted some time alone," Logan sighed. "Which is obviously not gonna happen."

"In the Danger Room?" Low Light looked around. "Uh…isn't this…?"

"We shut the power off," Logan pointed. "Just to be safe. Which means nothing's gonna happen."

"Unfortunately," Jinx sighed.

"What are all of you doing down here?" Hank walked in. "Its getting wild up there! The kids are really getting restless. Tabitha just blew up some more decorations. Lance and Peter are fighting over Kitty again. Some of the human girls nearly got into a fight with Wanda. Pietro's spreading rumors as well as teasing the football players. Shipwreck is now chasing Destiny around and Rogue is threatening to run away from home!" 

"We'd better get up there," Logan said. "Before they tear the flamin' mansion apart." 

"Yeah we'd…" Hank walked over to them. What he didn't notice was that the door was closing behind him. 

"Hank the door!" Logan shouted. Too late it locked behind him.

"Well no problem," Hank tried to open it. "Oh dear, that door has a manual lock on it doesn't it?"

"Yeah and it can only be opened on the other side," Logan groaned. "Way to go Hank!"

"Well can't you just cut through it with your claws?" Jinx asked. 

"The door's made out of solid adamantium," Logan pointed out. "So are the walls now, remember? After the last couple of visits by the Misfits, Chuck put in some 'modifications'." 

"Well just turn on the emergency voice control activation switch!" Ororo threw her hands up. "Computer open door to Danger Room."

"Uh 'Ro?" Logan said. "Power's off. Remember? Except for the back up lights and air generator, there's nothing on in this room." 

"So we're stuck in here?" Cover Girl asked.

"Looks like it," Logan sighed. 

"Oh crap…" Ororo looked at the door. 

************************************************************************

Rogue had managed to clean off the cake off her face in one of the bathrooms upstairs. "Well I knew this was gonna be a disaster!" She grumbled. 

Wanda, Xi and Althea were in the bathroom as well looking at the mirror. "How much you wanna bet it was Pietro who set it off? It smells just like his handiwork!" Wanda said. 

"Actually it smells more like vanilla," Todd poked his head in. 

"Toad!" Wanda snapped. 

"What?" Todd said. "The door was open and all you guys are doing is standing there looking at yourselves in the mirror! I mean it ain't like you guys are on the can or anything are you? Or taking a bath!"

"It's still a matter of privacy!" Wanda snapped.

"Privacy? You let Xi in there!" Todd said. 

"Well Xi isn't exactly like other guys remember?" Rogue said.

"You got that right!" Todd pointed behind them.

They looked and gasped. Xi had taken some of Rogue's lipstick and was now applying it to 'his' lips. "What?" Xi blinked. 

"Xi for God's sake what the hell are you doing?" Rogue shouted. 

"I'm trying on lipstick," Xi said simply.

"Why are you doing that?" Rogue asked.

"Because that's what you females do," Xi said. 

"So why are you doing it?" Althea asked. 

"I have never considered the possibility of having any female characteristics," Xi told them. "I am just curious what would it be like to be a female. Perhaps by imitating some of your habits I can better understand females."

"Oh boy…" Wanda groaned. "Xi it's…not that simple." 

"Xi right now is not the time to be experimenting with stuff like that!" Todd groaned. "Trust me!" 

"Besides that color is so not you," Althea said. "I mean look at it. It totally clashes with your coloring." She took a tissue and wiped the lipstick off Xi's mouth.

"It does?" Xi blinked. "Why do you wear this stuff anyway? I mean what's the point of it?"

"It makes girls look good," Todd said. 

"Well it's more than that actually," Althea said. "Sometimes lipsticks can help prevent dryness. Try this one. It has moisturizer in it," Althea took out a lipstick from her purse and started to put some on Xi. 

"This is not happening," Rogue moaned. 

"Althea what the hell are you doin'?" Todd shouted. "What are you trying to do? Warp his mind or something?"

"He's not a he," Althea said. "Let's face it, Xi is at a disadvantage when it comes to this kind of stuff."

"He ain't supposed to know about this kind of stuff because he chose to be a guy!" Todd said.

"I did?" Xi blinked. 

"You said to call you a he, remember?" Todd told Xi.

"I did that because it was easier at the time," Xi said. "You could have called me she if you wanted."

"Yeah and Xi did have a huge crush on you before, remember?" Althea said. "Now hold still. I'm gonna put some lip liner on you as well." 

"I am not watching this," Rogue stammered. "This is unbelievable."

"For once I am in total agreement with you," Wanda said. 

"There!" Althea said. "You look fabulous."

"Really?" Xi looked at 'his' lips. "You think this color is me?"

"Actually that does look good on you," Todd said. "Really. It brings out your eyes." 

"You think?" Xi blinked as he admired himself. "Well it does feel nicer than the other one."

"Told you it's the moisturizer," Althea said. "Its lip balm, helps keep your lips from getting chapped."

"Really?" Todd asked. "Had no idea that stuff could be so practical."

"Yeah I got a different one, wanna try?" Althea asked as she rummaged through her purse.

"Well my lips have been feeling a little chafed lately," Todd admitted. 

"I can't watch this!" Rogue walked out.

"Yeah I'm getting out of here before those two get into the eye shadow!" Wanda followed her. 

They didn't get far when they ran into Scott. "Where did you put Duncan?" Rogue asked. 

"I stuck him in Kitty's room to recover," Scott smirked as he pointed his thumb at the door. 

"Wait, isn't that where we stuck Lockheed?" Rogue asked.

"YEOWWWW!" Duncan could be heard screaming from inside.

"Oh yeah," Scott grinned. "My mistake. Oh well." 

"Excuse me," Wanda said. "I'm gonna go find my brother and pay him back for the birthday cake facial." She took off. 

"This is a nightmare," Rogue groaned. 

"Things are gonna be fine Rogue," Scott said.

"Which party are you at?" Rogue snapped at him. "There's already been a lot of fights and explosions, and if Wanda has her way there's gonna be a lot more! Professor X is out cold, Ms. March is stuck in the laundry chute and I don't know where most of the other adults are! Xi has decided to explore his feminine side and he's taking Toad for the ride with him! The Misfits are running loose. Shipwreck is hitting on Irene. Meanwhile most of the human guests hate us more than ever. Which means our chances of ever going back to school are growing less by the minute. Of course I've been humiliated so much at this party I don't think I ever could show my face back there even if I wanted too!" 

"Rogue it's gonna be okay I promise," Scott said. "It's…What's this about Xi and Toad?"

"Don't ask!" Rogue said. "You really don't want to know!" 

"Hey has anybody seen Kitty?" Lance walked up to them. 

"Not now Lance!" Rogue groaned. 

"I just wanna know where she is!" Lance asked. "I've been looking all over for her ever since the birthday cake blow up! She was really upset!"

"Something tells me you can blame Pietro for that!" Scott snapped.

"I just want to talk to her," Lance said. "I can't find her!" 

"Well I haven't seen Remy for most of the evening so shut up!" Rogue said hotly.

"Well you did threaten to beat him up so he's probably doing the smart thing and laying low," Lance reminded her. 

"Maybe Jean's seen her!" Rogue said. 

"Uh Jean isn't exactly noticing much right now," Lance said.

"What do you mean?" Scott asked.

"I think you'd better see for yourself," Lance told him. 

He led the way to the main living room. To their surprise they saw a crowd standing around a table. Jean was dancing on top of it. _"I am the Dancing Queen!" _Jean sang loudly. _"Young and sweet playing the tambourine oh yeah!" _

"Jean what are you doing?" Scott ran up to her. 

"MOSH PIT TIME!" Jean shouted as she jumped off the table. "WHEEE!" 

Scott and Lance barely caught her. "Geeze Red you weigh more than you look!" Lance said as he and Scott helped her stand up.

"Are you okay?" Scott asked.

"Never better!" Jean lightly brushed them off and went to the table where the punch was. "You know this punch is great! YAHOOO! PARTY!" 

"Jean what's gotten into you?" Scott asked.

Lance took a whiff of the punch. "About a shot of Baccardi and a ton of vodka by the smell of it." 

"What?" Scott yelped. "You mean she's drunk?"

"Give the man a prize," Lance said sarcastically. "Way to watch your girlfriend, Summers. Look the punch bowl is nearly empty. She must have at least drank half of it!" 

"Oh this night is getting even better," Rogue groaned.

"Okay Jean I think you've had enough," Scott tried to take the punch from her.

"Hey this is my punch!" Jean snapped. "Get your own!" 

"Give me the punch Jean," Scott said. 

"No!" She pouted. "Don't wanna! So there!" She stuck out her tongue and walked away. 

"Oh great!" Rogue threw up her hands. "Come on, let's get her before she does something stupid!"

"Good luck!" Lance snickered. 

Jean had staggered to the back of the room where Kitty was talking to Amara. Scott and Rogue quickly caught up with her. "Jean I think you should go lie down or something," Scott said.

"Jean I think you should go lie down or something," Jean mocked him in a funny voice. "Man and people call me a party pooper. Of course with any party for Rogue it's bound to be a disaster anyway!"

"Jean!" Scott hissed.

"Scott!" Jean mocked. 

"Will you behave yourself?" Scott asked.

"What's going on?" Kitty asked, noticing the others. 

"Nothing," Scott said.

"Waddya mean 'nothing'?" Jean asked a little too loudly. "It's obviously something!"

"Kitty hi!" Lance waved. "Look I'm really sorry about the cake thing…"

"Not now Alvers," Scott said.

"Why not?" Jean snapped. "At least Lance is interested in Kitty's well being which is more than I can say for you!"

"Jean…" Scott tried to take her arm

"Spend half the night ignoring me drooling over Ms. Personality over here," Jean snapped pointing at Rogue.

"Jean keep your voice down and don't talk like that!" Scott snapped. "You're ruining Rogue's party." 

"Oh yeah," Jean slurred. "Never mind **my **feelings and wishes. Just trample all over them as long as **Rogue's **happy." 

"Jean are you drunk or something?" Kitty asked. 

"Oh look it's Kitty," Jean snickered. She bent her head down so her face was right in front of hers. "Meow, meow, meow…" She started singing the Meow Mix song. 

"Oh my god you are drunk!" Kitty said. 

"She's beyond drunk," Pietro came up with the rest of the Misfits. "She's plastered." 

"If you jerks had anything to do with this…" Scott growled. 

"Hey it wasn't us!" Althea snapped. "We didn't bring any alcohol. Some firecrackers maybe but no alcohol!" 

"Yeah we even frisked Shipwreck and everything!" Fred told them.

"I have a pretty good idea who the culprit really is," Lance pointed at the jocks standing by the punch bowl. 

"Sorry I should have known," Scott said. "You guys are nuts enough without alcohol! We'd better tell somebody!"

"Don't tell my dad," Althea said. "He'd want to drink it!"

"A drink! Good idea!" Jean said happily. "I'll have another!" 

"Jean I think you've had enough," Scott tried to take the punch from her.

"Don't tell me when I've had enough!" Jean snapped. "I'll tell you when I've had enough!" She jerked the punch back. However it spilled on one of the girls.

"Hey you spilled your punch on me!" Linda snapped.

"Ha! Serves ya right for being a bunch of stuck up…" Jean snapped.

"Okay Jean that's enough," Rogue grabbed her arm. 

"Leggo!" Jean pulled away. "You're not the boss of me! Hell I should be the leader of the team!"

"Yeah right Jean," Rogue rolled her eyes. 

"Don't roll your eyes at me! I'll roll your big swelled head off your shoulders!" Jean snapped. 

"Just go ahead and try it!" Rogue snapped.

"Rogue calm down," Scott said.

"Don't tell me to calm down!" Rogue shouted. "The last thing I want to do at my own birthday party is look after a drunken Princess Perfect!" 

"Oh yeah?" Jean slurred. "Well if I'm the princess, you're the freaking queen!"

"What?" Rogue asked.

"That's right! All Hail Queen Rogue!" Jean threw up her hands. "The Supreme Ruler of Self Pity! And every freaking person in your house is your royal subject and don't say it isn't so, because we all know it's true!" 

"Jean shut up you're making a fool of yourself!" Rogue hissed. Already several people were staring at them. 

"Every day it's the same thing, 'We have to try to be nicer to Rouge', 'We need to show Rogue some understanding'," Jean said sarcastically in a high voice. " 'Let's encourage Rogue more, she needs it!' WELL, WHAT ABOUT MY NEEDS HUH? WHERE'S MY PIECE OF THE ACTION PAL?" 

"Jean I swear…" Rogue was feeling everyone's eyes on her.

"SO YOU CAN'T TOUCH ANYBODY WITHOUT SUCKING OUT THEIR LIFE FORCE? BIG FAT HAIRY DEAL!" Jean snapped. "You wanna talk about voices in your head? Try spending afternoon with afternoon with these ditzes!" She pointed to the girls. "God I nearly went out of my mind half the time!" 

"Why you…" Linda tried to attack her but was held back by her friends. 

"I try to be nice to people and make them feel wanted," Jean groaned. "I try so hard to be a good role model and to help people and inspire them! And what do I get? 'God Jean's such a snob' 'She's Princess Perfect'! You insult everybody in your path and everybody loves you! How do you do that?" 

"I don't do anything," Rogue said. 

"Everybody wants to be Rogue's friend," Jean said. "Half the boys here are in love with you! And don't say 'yeah right' because I've glimpsed into their diseased little brains and I know for a fact it's true! Hell you could have even had Scott if you really wanted! We all know how easily led he is!" 

"That's enough Jean!" Scott took her by the arm, but she broke free. 

"I am so sick and tired of trying to live up to your standards," Jean slurred.

"My standards?" Rogue gasped. 

"You think just because you're sooooooo popular around here that you can get away with anything!" Jean snarled.

"I'm what?" Rogue blinked

"She's popular?" Blake asked. 

"Well compared to Jean she is," Mindy said. 

"SEE WHAT I MEAN?" Jean shouted. "Even the teachers love you! They're always worried about your progress and things. But me… I'm not a problem at all! I can get through life without any guidance! You're the one that needs all the help. WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP!" 

"Jean drunk or not if you don't stop babbling I am gonna hurt you," Rogue growled through her teeth.

"Oooooh!" Jean said mockingly. "I'm so scared! Go ahead and suck the life right outta me Rogue! You'd be doing me a favor!"

"What are you talking about?" Rogue asked.

"I suppose it's never occurred to you that unlike you, some of us just aren't that brave to be themselves!" Jean shouted. "That they'd do anything to be liked by people! Even if it means denying who they are and sucking up to jerks all the time!" 

"Jean you are so out of the A list!" Mindy snapped.

"Do you know why I went with Duncan all that time, well besides his cute butt?" Jean asked. "It's because I was so desperate to be normal! That and the fact that there was very little on his mind. It was pretty easy to filter out his thoughts. But wanted people to like and accept me! I needed people to like and accept me…to love me….IS THAT SO BAD? IS IT?" 

"Man she is so wasted," Todd remarked. 

"It's like watching a car crash," Amanda said. "You want to look away but you can't."

"Why doesn't anybody love me?" She moaned. "Why? Why? WHY?" 

"How the mighty have fallen," Fred grinned.

"You're really enjoying this aren't you?" Tabitha asked.

"Oh yeah," Fred told her. "Big time!" 

"You love me don't you Scott?" Jean whimpered.

"Yes I do," Scott said quickly. Then he noticed everyone in the room was looking at them. "Jean maybe we should go somewhere…"

"OH SCOTT!" Jean shouted and kissed him passionately. Everyone in the room cheered and/or made catcalls.

"Well at least someone's gonna get some action tonight!" George laughed. 

"All right what's all the racket about? What's going on?" Shipwreck wandered over.

"Jean's drunk!" Althea said. 

"It wasn't me I swear! I did not even think of bringing any alcohol to this party!" Shipwreck shouted. 

"We know that," Althea said. "We already have some other suspects but right now we need to get Jean calmed down." 

"Where is everybody?" Shipwreck shouted. "I know Roadblock is locked in with Ms. March. Somebody fused the door shut somehow!" 

"Yeah and with this group there aren't exactly a limited number of suspects," Lance remarked. 

By now Jean was slobbering all over Scott. "Jean…please…now is not the time for this!" He gasped.

"Right!" Jean broke away giggling. "Let's party! WHOOO HOOO!" Suddenly several objects were starting to fly around the room.

"Something tells me Jean's powers are getting out of hand!" Kurt gulped.

"You think?" Linda snapped. A cup filled with punch floated around and spilled all over her. "HEY! NOT AGAIN!" 

"Look! Even the objects are dancing!" Jean laughed. 

"And you guys complained on how much my fireworks wrecked the place?" Forge yelped as a pillow hit him. The room was starting to get even more trashed. 

"Dude, something tells me Duncan's idea of spiking the punch was not such a good idea," Blake whispered to his buddies. 

"GET THIS THING AWAY FROM ME!" Duncan could be heard shouting in the hallway. "YEOWWWW!" 

"Jean cut it out!" Rogue shouted. The objects stopped floating around.

"Fine! I can have a party all by myself! YEHAAA!" Jean floated up into the air and started to fly around. "TIME TO PARTY!" 

"Well this is not good," Shipwreck said. "Who'd have thought that I'd be the responsible adult around here! Xi do you have lipstick on?" 

"You don't like it?" Xi asked.

"Never mind," Shipwreck groaned. 

"Well this is something I'd never thought I'd see in my lifetime," Lance quipped. 

"Uh…Dude, did anybody know that Jean could fly?" Ralph asked.

"Nope," George said. "Not a clue." 

"Cool," Blake looked up. "You can see up her dress." 

"IT'S MY PARTY NOW!" Jean laughed. "YAYYY!" 

"Okay how do we stop her?" Kitty asked. 

"Jean come down here young lady right now!" Shipwreck snapped.

"Oh yeah that'll work," Pietro rolled his eyes. 

"Jean cut it out!" Rogue flew up in front of her. "You're gonna hurt somebody!" 

"Hey I can see up her dress too!" Blake shouted. 

"Okay you are so dead!" Kurt tackled Blake. 

"Cool a fight!" Jean watched it. "YAYY!" 

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! I AM OUT OF HERE!" Rogue shouted as she ran out the back. 

"Dad we gotta do something!" Althea said. "This party has officially gone into meltdown!" 

"Don't worry!" Shipwreck said. "Leave everything to me!"

"Now I really am worried," Scott moaned. 


	7. Happy Birthday Rogue

**And now for your amusement, some romantic fluff. Oh come on you really didn't think there wouldn't be any in this fic now did you? **

**Happy Birthday Rogue**

Rogue sat alone in the garden. She felt like crying. Everything had gone wrong. She knew she was at that age where everything seemed like a crisis, but in her case everything was a crisis. _Some birthday this is! Makes me feel like I wish I've never been born, but that's such…a cliché or something. _

She heard a rustling behind her. She stood up and whirled around. "Who's there?" She snapped. "Show yourself!" 

"Gambit knew he find you out here," Remy said as he appeared.

"Well I'm not going back in there so forget about it," She snapped.

"No problem with Remy," Remy shrugged. "Remy not want to go back in there either. Besides, the view out here is much nicer." 

Rogue decided to let the innuendo slide for once. "Yeah well, it's also a lot less crowded out here. Nobody to stare at me."

"Rogue about that tape…" Remy started to apologize.

"Calm down Cajun," Rogue sighed. "I ain't gonna kill you. In a way…it was kind of sweet. I know you didn't mean for that to be shown to everyone. If anyone deserves to be killed its Sam and Roberto."

"What about Jamie?"

"He's too young. Maybe I'll just scare him and make him my slave for life," She snickered. 

"That sounds like a plan," Remy chuckled. "Pretty unforgettable birthday, no?"

"I couldn't forget this party even if I went down on my knees and begged the Professor, Jean and Mastermind to wipe this night from my mind at the same time," Rogue groaned. "Well maybe not Jean…she may want her own mind erased." 

"I'm real sorry Jean went all crazy like that," Remy said. 

"Actually part of me kind of enjoyed that," Rogue sighed. "As much as I hate to admit it. I had no idea she felt that way about me. You know what's funny? Here I am jealous of her and what she has and everything and all this time she's been jealous of me! Weird."

"Well you know what they say about the grass being greener on the other side," Remy said. "But man is she going to have one hell of a hangover when she wakes up tomorrow." 

"I know I should have done something more to stop her antics, but to be honest I did not want Jean's thoughts in my head."

"I don't think Jean will want her thoughts in the morning either," Remy chuckled. 

"Thanks for coming out here," Rogue said softly. "I appreciate you…ya know. Checking in now and then." 

"Well it's about time we had some time together," Remy said. "Remy thought he'd never give you his present." 

"But I thought…" Rogue started to say.

"That was just for show," Remy gave her a wooden box with a ribbon tied around it. "This is from my heart."

Rogue looked at him and untied the ribbon. She opened the box and gasped. Inside was a gold necklace with a golden rose pendant. "Remy…it's beautiful."

"A rose for a Southern rose," Remy took it out of the box and put it around her neck. "When you wear this, you think of Remy. And that way Remy will always be with you."

"Why do you stay with me?" Rogue's eyes were filled with tears. "You know there can't possibly be a future with us together?" 

"Who knows?" Remy's eyebrows arched. "Maybe it's Remy's nature to want what he can't have? Or maybe he loves a challenge?"

He put a gloved finger to her lips. "Or maybe…" He whispered. "Maybe he knows a good thing when he sees it. And when Remy sees something worthwhile…he never lets go, no matter what."

"But you can never even kiss me or…" Rogue asked.

"Oh Chere," Remy shook his head. "You the one always going on about hope and living for another day to see what will happen. Why don't you practice what you preach?"

"Come again?"

"Let Remy put it to you this way," He sighed. "Did you ever think that you would ever gain the ability to fly?"

"Well no," She said.

"Did you ever dream that one day you would be a heroine saving people?" Remy asked.

"Not really," Rogue said. "I don't really see myself as that." 

"Did you ever think you would find yourself a family, albeit a strange one but still a family?"

"No."

"SOMEBODY HELP ME! AGGHHH!" Duncan ran by them with Lockheed on his tail, singing his butt all the way. 

"Did you ever think that you'd ever live with a real live dragon?" Remy asked.

"No I can definitely say I did not," Rogue sighed. 

"So what makes you so sure that you'll never touch anyone?" Remy asked. "You have to have hope Chere. Hope is what life is all about. That one day will be better than the next. That's something worth living for. Even if we never do touch with our lips, you've touched me with your heart." 

She gently hugged him. "You got a real way with words ya know Swamp Rat?" 

"Every now and then Remy does say the right thing," He grinned. 

"AGGGHHH! HELP MEEEEEEE! MOMMY!" Duncan's voice could be heard. 

Rogue groaned. "We should help him."

"Do we have to?"

"Yes, come on," Rogue led him further back into the yard. Duncan was precariously holding onto a tree limb for dear life. Lockheed however had flapped right in front of him and looked like he was about to set the tree on fire. "Lockheed! Down boy!"

"Call it off!" Duncan whimpered. "Call it off!" 

"Okay now that is just plain sad," Rogue sighed. "Hey what's this on the ground?" She picked something up at the base of the tree. 

"It looks like a flask," Remy said. He took it from Rogue and sniffed it. "Smells like the extra ingredient in the punch. I think we have our culprit!" 

"You're the one who spiked the punch aren't you?" Rogue said angrily.

"I'd answer her if I were you," Remy folded his arms.

"I don't have to say…" Duncan started to speak when a growl from Lockheed made him rethink his decision. "Okay, okay! I did it! I admit it!" 

"I should have known!" Rogue snapped. 

"It was just a little fun!" Duncan said.

"Oh really?" Remy snarled. "Fun eh? You wanna know what Remy think would be fun right about now?" He took a card from his pocket and charged it. 

"You wouldn't!" Duncan squealed.

"Wanna bet?" Remy growled. 

"Hang on Remy! I got a better idea! Lockheed!" Rogue ordered. "Keep him there! If he even tries to get down, burn that tree until it's the size of a toothpick!" 

"You can't leave me here all night!" Duncan yelled.

"I'm not," Rogue turned around and started to leave. "I'm gonna find Mr. Logan. You know, the one with the temper and the claws. I'm sure he'd like to have a nice long conversation with you."

"On the other hand it really is a nice night," Duncan gulped. He looked at Lockheed. "Nice…dragon. Good boy…"

"Grrrrrrrrr," Lockheed growled. 

"Oh god I'm dead," Duncan moaned. 

"Something tells Remy that it will be a very long time before Duncan ever spikes the punch at a party again," Remy chuckled. 

"Remind me when we find Storm to ask her to make a nice loud rainstorm," Rogue grinned. "Come on, let's get back to the party. If there's anything left of it that is." 


	8. Get Out On the Dance Floor

**Get Out on the Dance Floor**

"Wanna go back to the party?" Remy asked as they made their way back to the mansion.

"Not really but I guess we have to go in sometime," Rogue sighed. "Hey do you hear music?" 

They walked in through the back door and found Todd and Althea dancing on the ceiling. "Whoo hoo!" Althea whooped.

"Hang on for Toad's Wild Ride!" Todd shouted as he carried her around and flipped to the floor. 

"WHEEE!" Althea laughed. 

"Okay what's going on now?" Rogue asked. 

"First the bad news," Althea said. "Most of the adults are missing in action leaving my father to host the party."

"What's the good news?" Rogue groaned.

"My father is hosting the party," Althea grinned. She opened the door to the next room and Rogue looked in. 

"YO, YO, YO!" Shipwreck called out. He was wearing black sunglasses and acting like a DJ. "LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED! SHAKE IT PEOPLE!" 

Nearly everyone was dancing and having a great time. "I don't believe this!" Rogue gasped. "How…?"

"It's a gift my dad has," Althea grinned.

"How did you talk Jean down?" Remy asked.

"We didn't," Althea pointed to the ceiling. "But since she seemed so happy up there we decided to leave her alone."

"I am the life of the party!" Jean laughed. She flew around wearing only her underwear, slip and bra.

"Hard not to be the way she's dressed," Todd snickered. "Or in this case not dressed!" 

"JEAN PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON!" Scott shouted as he chased her around on the floor. 

"Are you getting this?" Wanda snickered to Fred.

"Oh yeah," Fred cackled as he filmed the entire thing. 

All over the room the guests were dancing and having a wild time. Kurt and Amanda were dancing up a storm. Kurt then used his teleportation abilities to take Amanda all over the room. "Shake it baby!" He laughed.

"Now that is just plain weird," Linda said as she danced with George. 

"No I think that's weirder," George pointed to Xi breakdancing.

"Where did Xi learn to breakdance?" Kitty asked. 

"The Blind Master," Lance told her. 

"Amara!" Ray was following her around. "You have to believe me! It wasn't my fault! I didn't mean to look at her like that!"

"Forget it!" Amara snapped. She grabbed Roberto by the hand. "Come on Roberto! Let's dance!"

"Good idea," Roberto grinned as Amara led him away.

"Tabby…" Ray said.

"Forget it!" Tabitha snapped grabbing Fred by the arm. "Even the Blob is classier than you! Come on Freddy!" 

"Bye!" Fred waved happily. 

"Dude you are missing the weirdest party of the year!" Ralph spoke into his cell phone. "I'm telling you! It's like a three-ring circus combined with Club 54 and in the middle of a soap opera! I'm serious!"

"I hate to admit it, but these freaks know how to have a good party," Mindy told Blake as they danced. "Where's Duncan?"

"Last I saw he was running away from some purple flying lizard," Blake shrugged. 

"Talk about weird, Duncan just got his butt fried by some lizard with wings," Ralph spoke into the phone. "Man they actually have an actual dragon here! Yeah you heard me. Like in Dungeons and Dragons only it's travel size. It's like partying with the Addams family man!" 

"JEAN PLEASE!" Scott shouted. 

"Oh tell Tracy that Jean definitely does not stuff her bra," Ralph spoke into the phone. 

"Come on Rogue," Remy smiled. "Let's dance!" They both went out on the dance floor. They danced together, careful not to bump into the other kids. 

"I AM NOT GOING TO DANCE WITH YOU!" Irene shouted. "LEAVE ME ALONE SHIPWRECK!" 

"Come on babe let's boogie!" Shipwreck jumped on a table and started to dance. He grabbed Irene and started to dance with her.

"Why me?" Irene moaned. 

"Hey Xi," Rogue notice Xi was near them. "Great party huh?" 

"I don't know," Xi looked around. "I have been having this feeling all evening. Like something…someone is hiding something."

"Well in this group that's not that…" Remy began when a commotion interrupted them. "Now what?" 

Ralph and Tiffany were snapping at Ray. "All I did was ask her to dance!" Ray snapped. "Is that a crime?" 

"Hey that's my girl!" Ralph snapped. "Stick to your own kind freak!" 

"For the last time I am not your girl! I don't have a bill of sale Ralph!" Tiffany snapped. "Even if I did want to dance with a freak, which I don't…I don't have to tell you about it! I don't need you!"

"Are you out of your mind?" Ralph shouted. "Don't you know how dangerous these freaks are?"

"That is completely beside the point!" Tiffany snapped. "The point is that I can handle myself, freak or not!" 

"Hey I'm standing right here you know?" Ray said bitterly.

"Yeah well go somewhere else!" Ralph shoved him.

"Don't shove me!" Ray snapped, shoving him back.

"That's right!" Tiffany shouted. "I'll get rid of him myself!" She shoved both Ray and Ralph. Soon all three of them were shoving each other. Then the other football players started shoving several other mutants around, who shoved back. Soon a miniature fight started.

"So much for everyone getting along," Rogue groaned as she ducked a flying pillow. "I knew it couldn't last!" 

"I AM THE ALL POWERFUL QUEEN OF THE TOGA PARTY!" Jean staggered out covered in a bedsheet. "BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP ME!" More objects started to fly around the room.

"Here we go again," Kurt moaned. 

"Okay things are starting to get a bit out of control," Todd gulped.

"WHAT THE SAM HILL IS GOING ON HERE?" Roadblock finally stormed into the room with Ms. March behind. 

"My god this is horrible!" Ms. March stared at the scene before her. Everyone stopped fighting when they came in. "Violence…depravity everywhere the eye can see!"

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Shipwreck said. 

"WHERE ARE THE OTHER ADULTS?" Roadblock shouted.

"Ya got me," Shipwreck shrugged. "They took off somewhere leaving me in charge." 

"Frightening isn't it?" Irene groaned. 

"What a mess I see," Roadblock groaned. "Where can all the other adults be?" 

**Just what are those adults up too? What more madness will there be at this party? Tune in next time to find out! **


	9. Truth or Dare

**So what are those adults doing while all of this is going on? Hold on to your seats! **

**Truth or Dare**

"I spy with my little eye…" Hank sighed as the adults all sat on the floor. "Something beginning with W." 

"Wall," Cover Girl said immediately.

"Yup," Hank sighed. "Your turn." 

"I spy with my little eye something beginning with F," Cover Girl said.

"Floor," Hank said.

"Got it in one," Cover Girl said. 

"I spy with my little eye something beginning with C," Hank said.

"Ceiling," Cover Girl said.

"Right again," Hank remarked. 

"Got any more of that beer?" Ororo asked.

"Here ya go," Jinx handed her some from a cooler. 

"Well I spy something beginning with I," Logan snapped. "IDIOT!" 

"It is not my fault we're locked in here!" Hank bristled. 

"Wanna bet?" Logan snapped. 

"I can't believe we've been locked in here for over an hour," Ororo groaned. 

"I can't believe no one's showed up to get us out!" Logan growled. 

"I can," Jinx said. "Didn't anyone try to mentally contact Jean or something?"

"I did," Ororo sighed. "But for some reason I'm not getting through to her."

"Gee I wonder why?" Cover Girl glared at Jinx.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Jinx snapped.

"Well things do have a habit of going wrong whenever you're around!" Cover Girl snapped. 

"I am not bad luck!" Jinx snapped. "Why do people always say things like that?"

"Because everything goes wrong when you show up," Low Light told her. "Remember the time you were put on KP duty?" 

"Those pipes were old and they burst on their own!" Jinx snapped. 

"Pipe down the both of you!" Logan snapped. "This was all an accident! Blaming each other's not gonna solve anything! Oh man things must be desperate if I'm the voice of reason here!" 

"How about another word game?" Hank asked.

"Okay fine," Low Light snapped. "Make a sentence out of these words: me, bite hairball!" 

"Oh yeah?" Hank said. "How's this one: yours, low, up, light!" 

"You wanna go a couple rounds?" Low Light stood up.

"Bring it on, Rookie!" Hank stood up.

"Rookie?" Low Light snarled. "**_Rookie?_**"

"KNOCK IT OFF!" Logan snapped. "As much as I'd love to beat the crap outta somebody right now, that ain't gonna help us! We gotta do something to keep us occupied until someone finds us!" 

"Like what?" Low Light asked. "Play a game of Truth or Dare?"

"I'm up for that," Cover Girl said.

"You would be!" Low Light snapped. "I am not playing that game with you again! I will not!"

"What you chicken?" Hank asked. 

"I am not chicken," Low Light snapped. "I just don't…"

"BUCKAW!" Hank made chicken noises and flapped his arms like a chicken. "Buck-buck-caw!" 

"Oh you wanna play?" Low Light said. "Fine! We'll play! Let's get this on! Just don't say I didn't warn you!" 

"Fine we'll all play!" Hank sat down. 

"Great!" Logan said. Soon they were all sitting in a circle. 

"I can't believe we are playing truth or dare like a group of teenagers," Ororo groaned. 

"Well just be grateful that Shipwreck isn't locked in here with us," Hank said. 

"That's the only reason I haven't gone insane," Ororo sighed. "It is nice and peaceful in here isn't it? At least when you lunatics aren't fighting with each other." 

"Okay so how do we play this?" Logan asked.

"You're kidding?" Cover Girl asked. She rubbed her hands together. "Oh this is gonna be good!"

"Say your prayers Wolverine," Low Light said. "You just walked into the biggest ambush ever!" 

"It's simple," Jinx smiled. "You do either a truth or a dare when asked. Your choice. If you complete it, then you get to ask the next person and so on and so on." 

"So who starts?" Logan asked. Everyone grinned at him. "I had to ask. Okay…um…um…" 

"Well?" Jinx asked.

"I'm working on it!" Logan said. "Ah…Jinx. Truth or dare?"

"Dare," Jinx grinned. 

"Okay…" Logan sighed. "I dare you to…give me a kiss." 

"That is so lame!" Jinx groaned. She kissed him. "I'd expected more from you!" 

"Oh and I suppose you can do better?" Logan snapped. 

"Easy!" Jinx said. "Truth or Dare?"

"Dare!" Logan said. 

"I dare you to…" Jinx grinned. "Declare your undying love for me in a poem." 

"You are kidding?" Logan looked at her. "A **_poem?"_**

"You got it!" She grinned.

"Yes Logan," Hank grinned. "Express your feelings in verse, for better or for worse."

"How's this? Roses are red, violets are blue, I declare my undying love for you!" Logan said. 

"Now you people are sounding like Roadblock," Low Light said. 

"That's the best you can do?" Jinx asked.

"Not exactly the most flowery of verse," Hank said. "However you could have done worse." 

"Look what the hell do you want from me? I ain't exactly Will Shakespeare or anything! I go again!" Logan snapped. "Hank truth or dare?" 

"Dare," Hank said.

"I dare you to put on some lipstick and dance around singing 'I Feel Pretty'," Logan grinned.

"Are you nuts?" Hank yelled. 

"Now that is a dare!" Cover Girl laughed.

"Ha! Ha!" Low Light smirked. "Now who's chicken?" 

"Here you go Beastie," Cover Girl fished out a lipstick from her pocket. "This should suit you fine." 

"Oh I can not wait to watch this," Ororo giggled. 

"It's not really my color," Hank muttered as he put it on. 

"You look like Bozo the Clown," Low Light snickered. 

"Come on I want to hear some entertainment!" Logan hooted. 

"_I feel pretty…oh so pretty," _Hank pranced around. Soon everyone was on the floor laughing at his act. 

"You're pretty all right," Jinx snickered.

"Pretty stupid looking!" Low Light roared.

"Okay now it's payback time!" Hank snapped when he finished. 

"Yeah like I'm scared of any dare you could come up with," Logan laughed. "Jinx maybe but other than that…"

"Hey!" Ororo was feeling the effects of the beer in her head. "I could come up with a great dare!"

"I doubt it," Jinx waved.

"Well I dare you to come up with a good dare!" Ororo told her.

"Well my dares are going to be the stuff legends are made out of," Hank said.

"Please," Low Light waved. 

"Oh like you could do better?" Hank fumed.

"Easy," Low Light said.

"You don't even know what it is yet!" Ororo snapped.

"I know whatever it is, it'll be pretty lame," Low Light said. 

"Oh really?" Hank asked.

"Yeah really," Low Light said.

"He's got a point there," Jinx pointed to Low Light. 

"What? Are you implying that Joes are just better at this game than we X-Men are?" Hank snapped.

"I ain't implying anything, I'm saying right to your face!" Jinx snapped. 

"Please," Logan waved. "We X-Men can beat you Joes any day in this!"

"Oh is that so?" Jinx asked.

"Yeah!" Logan said. 

"Oh yeah?" Cover Girl grinned. "Well I got the best dare of all! And everybody has to do it! Can you handle it?"

"Why not?" Logan asked. 

"I have no problem with it," Ororo said. 

"Bring it on!" Hank snapped.

"Okay," Cover Girl grinned. "I dare all of you to…strip to your underwear and play spin the bottle!" 

"WHAT?" Ororo gasped.

"All right!" Logan grinned. "I like this game!" 

"You can't be serious," Hank asked.

"She is," Low Light groaned. 

"Isn't this a little immature?" Ororo asked. 

"So what's your point?" Cover Girl asked. "I'm doing it!" She started to get undressed.

"What?" Hank yelled.

"Oh for crying out loud Hank we'll still have our underwear on," Cover Girl said. 

"It's got to be the drink going to our heads," Jinx said as she pulled off her outfit. "Come on boys! Let's do it!" 

"Oh my…" Hank gulped. "Um…I don't know about this…" 

"Hank you practically walk around all day in your underwear anyway!" Logan growled as he got undressed. 

"You have a point," Hank said as he started to remove his turtleneck. 

"It's not like the kids are doing it," Ororo said. "We are adults after all."

"We'll use this empty beer bottle," Logan took one out of a small cooler nearby. "Jinx and I were…uh…"

"Yeah we can guess what you two were doing," Low Light said as he removed his uniform. Soon they were all in their underwear.

"Boxers," Jinx looked at the guys. "Boxers…Hank I never figured you for a brief man." 

"Well I do wear something underneath my uniform," Hank crossed his arms. He then looked at the women. "Oh my stars and garters…" 

"Oh for crying out loud Hank it's not like you haven't seen me in a bathing suit or anything before," Ororo made a face. She was wearing a white bra and blue panties. 

Jinx was wearing a matching set of red bra and underwear. "Maybe we should lay some ground rules before this gets out of hand?" 

"We are in our underwear playing spin the bottle," Ororo said. "I think it's already gotten out of hand." 

"I'm telling you one thing I am not kissing any of the guys!" Low Light snapped.

"The feeling's mutual bub!" Logan said. 

"Who's going first?" Cover Girl asked.

"I will!" Hank said boldly. He spun the bottle and it pointed at Ororo. 

"Oh my!" Ororo blinked. 

"Come on Hank," Logan grinned. "Give her a good one!" 

"Well what are you waiting for?" Ororo asked. "Pucker up!" 

"Well if you insist," Hank kissed her on the lips. 

"Oh my god…" Kitty's voice broke in. They turned and saw Kitty standing there with Rogue and Althea. While both Rogue and Kitty looked like they were going to have a heart attack on the spot, Althea looked very amused. 

"Oh my god…" Kitty repeated herself. 

Rogue moaned. "This is so embarrassing!"

"**You're **embarrassed?" Logan groaned as he grabbed his pants. 

"Can't leave you kids alone for a second now can we?" Althea grinned. "Don't let us interrupt you. However you might want to know the party is getting a little out of hand." 

"It must be for you three to come looking for us," Jinx sighed. 

"Okay how much do you want for you two to never speak of this?" Low Light growled as he put his uniform back on.

"I don't know if you can put a price on this," Althea grinned. 

"Oh my god…" Kitty blinked. "Oh my god…" 

"Oh for crying out loud Kitty it's just a bunch of old people getting it on," Althea said.

"Hey!" Jinx snapped. "We are not old!" 

"Okay what's happening?" Logan asked as he put his pants back on.

"That's what we were gonna ask you," Althea grinned.

"Althea!" Ororo said sharply.

"Well you have to admit this situation is kind of funny," Althea said. "I mean you guys are always preaching about our raging hormones and here all of you are…"

"Yes, yes we get it!" Hank moaned. "Now will you please bring us up to speed on what's happening?"

"Before or after Jean got drunk?" Rogue asked. 

"Oh dear," Hank put his hand to his head. "This is not going to be good is it?" 

************************************************************************

"I love flying!" Jean laughed as she flew around on the ceiling.

"Somebody get that girl down!" Ms. March snarled. 

"Jean come down from the ceiling right now!" Ororo stormed in with the rest of the adults. 

"Party pooper," Jean floated down. "Hey! Watch what I can do!" She lifted several of the guests telekinetically. "Whee! Now everybody can fly!" 

"Oh man this is so weird," Ralph said as he floated around. He bumped into Ray. "Hey watch it!" 

"Young lady put me down right now!" Irene shouted. She bumped into Xi. 

"Okay," Jean let them go and they collapsed on the floor in a heap. 

"Xi get off Irene's head," Shipwreck said. "Do you need help?"

"Please," Irene groaned as Shipwreck helped her up. "Thank you!" 

"Here my dear let me kiss you and make it better?" He puckered up. 

"You idiot!" Irene thwacked Shipwreck with her cane. 

"Well she should have known that Shipwreck would try that," Cover Girl said. 

"Yeah you would have thought being able to see the future she'd have seen that one coming?" Todd scratched his head. 

"She's not a precog," Xi looked at Irene. 

"What?" Irene started. 

Xi then grabbed Irene's wrist. "This has been bothering me all night. I had a nagging feeling that wouldn't go away, but until I first touched you I wasn't sure…SHAPESHIFTER!" 

"That ain't Irene?" Remy shouted.

"No it is not," Xi growled. "Three guesses who she really is!" 

They all started at Irene. "Drop the act!" Logan snapped. "It's over Mystique!"

"Momma…" Rogue stared at her as Mystique returned to her rightful shape. 


	10. Boy is This Party Over!

**Boy is This Party Over**

"I hate to admit it but your skills are getting better," Logan growled at the blue skinned woman in the room. "I couldn't even detect the difference between the two of you!"

"I knew it!" Rogue spat out. "I knew you'd pull a stunt like this!" 

"Where's the real Destiny?" Ororo snapped.

"I wish I knew," Mystique growled. 

"Let me take a wild guess," Logan growled. "You came here to find her as well as spy on Rogue?" 

"I wanted to see my daughter," Mystique said. "That was first in my mind."

"But not the only thing on it!" Rogue shouted. 

"Dude what's going on here?" Ralph asked.

"Oh let me explain," Pietro said. "This is Rogue and Kurt's evil mommy and former boss of the Brotherhood. She also used to be Principal Darkholme and Risty Wilde." 

"No way!" George's eyes went wide.

"Way," Pietro said. 

"I always knew my principal was evil!" Mindy snapped. 

"You guys' lives are like soap operas you know that?" Linda said. 

"GET HER!" Fred shouted. 

"Some other time!" Mystique shouted. She knocked down Ms. March who was blocking her way and shapeshifted into a bird. 

"Stop her before she gets away!" Roadblock shouted. Too late, Mystique flew out an open window. 

"Let her go," Ororo said. "We'll get her another time." 

"I should have known it was too good to be true," There were tears in Rogue's eyes. 

"We all underestimated Mystique child," Ororo sighed as she put her hand on her shoulder. 

Rogue could hear the whisperings all over the room. She wanted to run up to her room and cry but really did not feel like giving the people in the room the satisfaction of seeing her cry. 

"Oh for crying out loud Rogue!" Jean staggered up to her looking very disheveled. "You have every right to cry! If my evil insane mommy ruined my party I'd want to hide in my room for a year and never, ever leave…Of course this is just another reason for you to be miserable and get all the attention isn't it. How much you wanna bet people that she complains about this party for the next few months?" 

"Jean this is not the time," Ororo said. "My word child what happened to you?"

"I am not a child," Jean huffed. "I am the queen of…something…I think."

"Okay Jean I think it's time you went upstairs and sobered up," Kitty took her by the arm.

Jean wasn't moving however. "Oh yeah you just want me out of the way so you can have some smooching time with one of your boyfriends."

"Jean you'd better behave yourself before you get socked in the jaw," Rogue said angrily.

"What is it with all the girls on this team?" Jean muttered. "Everybody needs so much attention! Everybody except me apparently. Like I'm not interesting enough to worry about? Well excuse me for having a happy childhood people! Unlike some people I don't like to waste my time being all angst ridden and depressed and stuff!"

"Jean you are drunk and you don't realize what you are saying," Kitty spoke to her as if she were a small child. 

"I know exactly what I'm saying," Jean said. "I mean you're not that much different from the misery chick over there. Look at Peter and Lance…"

"Watch it," Kitty growled. 

"God and people used to say how much I led Scott and what's his name on," Jean slurred. "But you've got those two idiots dancing like…dancing things. Not that I blame you. They are pretty hot looking." 

"Jean tomorrow you are so going to regret this!" Kitty fumed. 

"What are you mad at me for?" Jean hiccuped. "I'm not the one who's having those dreams about those boys on a desert beach with the ribbon and the pineapples and…" 

That was when Kitty punched Jean in the face with a right cross. "Ow…" Jean moaned as she fell to the floor. 

"See what you morons did?" Kitty fumed at the jocks. 

"Us?" Ralph said.

"You're the one's responsible for getting Jean drunk in the first place!" Rogue shouted. 

"Typical," Althea grunted. "Invite 'em to your house and you get your punch bowl spiked!"

"How come none of you other mutants are drunk?" Nancy asked.

"Because we all know Kitty made the punch," Bobby said.

"Yeah we're not stupid," Tabitha said. 

"What is that supposed to mean?" Kitty fumed. "Am I like such a bad cook that I can't even mix a punch drink correctly?"

"You said it," Pietro said. 

"DIE!" Kitty leapt at Pietro. 

"Too slow!" Pietro laughed and zipped out of the way. 

"This is the last straw!" Ms. March snapped. "Violence, explosions, and whatever that…woman was! No more! You mutants will never go back to Bayville High! I will not allow it to be contaminated by your immorality!"

"Hey! Your students were not exactly acting like pillars of the community either by spiking the punch!" Logan snapped. "I oughta…" 

"Hold on Logan," Shipwreck stepped in. "Let me handle this one!" He looked at Ms. March. "Lady you are the last person to be preaching morality around here. And that includes me!"

"What are you talking about?" Ms. March growled.

"I made a call to a buddy of mine about an hour ago," Shipwreck pulled out some papers from his pocket. "Paul's dad, Mainframe. He's got a talent for finding stuff out about people. Of course in your case, he really didn't have to look too hard. He faxed me this stuff about you. I was gonna talk to you about this in private but since you're making such a big deal about morality and all…" 

"What are you talking about?" Ms. March glared at him. 

"I'm talking about you of course," Shipwreck read from the papers. "On June 23 1978 you committed the first of many offenses when you took a baseball bat to your boyfriend's car after you caught him cheating on you. Several other incidents and lawsuits soon followed. You've got quite a temper on you. And I have the rap sheet to prove it! In fact that's what got you kicked out of college. Well several colleges it turns out."

"You're kidding?" Hank asked. "How did she get her teaching degree?"

"She didn't," Shipwreck smiled. "In fact, from what we gather…she's not even qualified to be anywhere near a school!"

"Well I could have told you that," Hank grinned. 

"That is a total pack of lies you disgusting…" Ms. March raised her fist.

"Disgusting? Moi?" Shipwreck said. "You wanna talk disgusting? How about what goes on your website…Madam Mojo!"

"How did you find out about that!" She gasped.

"You call us disgusting," Shipwreck held up some pictures and showed them to her. "Well how about this? That's disgusting! And so is this! And this! Actually this one isn't so bad. It is quite tasteful and you do look so fetching in that leather outfit. But this one is really bizarre. What's with the poodle?"

"You…you…" Ms. March growled.

"You have just chaperoned your last party here at Bayville," Shipwreck said.

"I agree," Logan folded his arms. "I wonder how the School Board will react to these revelations?" 

"If I were you," Hank growled at her. "I'd get out of town. Tonight." 

"You freaks haven't heard the last from me!" Ms. March shouted as Logan escorted her out. 

"Wanna bet?" Logan asked as he shoved her out the door and slammed it on her face. 

"Great," Mindy groaned. "Now we lost **another **teacher! Thanks a lot you guys!" 

"Didn't you hear a word Shipwreck said?" Rogue asked. 

"Don't waste your breath Rogue," Lance said. "They don't care! They could have cared less if one of us could have gotten sick from alcohol poisoning!" 

"Speaking of which," Pietro pointed at Jean who was trying to stand up. 

"Guys…" Jean said weakly. "Why is the room spinning? I don't feel so well. I think I'm gonna be sick." And she was, all over Mindy's dress. 

"Ewwwww!" Mindy screamed. "You freaks are disgusting!"

"It's no less than what you deserve for letting it happen!" Todd snapped. 

"Don't you yahoos have anything to say for yourselves?" Rogue growled. 

"Hey consider yourselves lucky!" George snapped. "We almost put Power 8 in it!" 

"Okay that's it!" Logan growled. "Party's over! You lot are out of here!"

"And what are you gonna do?" Blake snapped. "Use your powers on us?"

"Au contraire," Pietro grinned. "Like we'd be so crass to use them on fools like you." He picked up some food. "Do you not agree?"

"Oh yes," Remy picked up a half eaten cake. "Remy agrees with you completely." 

Immediately all the sober mutant students in the room picked up a piece of food and prepared to fling it at the jocks and cheerleaders. "Shall we?" Amanda asked Paul as she picked up some punch to fling it at them as well. 

"Well we're gonna get this anyway so," Paul shrugged. He then tossed some food at the football players. "FOOD FIGHT!" 

The sounds of jocks and cheerleaders screaming filled the room. Soon the Bayville Bunch was running out the door covered in food. "You freaks better not show your faces back at Bayville High or you'll be sorry!" Tiffany screamed. "Ewww! There's potato chips and gum in my hair!" 

"You know Bobby that was a good gift you gave me," Rogue grinned as she watched the unwanted guests scatter away on the lawn. 

"I guess this party is over huh?" Amanda sighed. 

"Well let's see," Remy growled. "We just chased away most of the humans and Mystique. That just leaves a few more unwanted guests!" 

"Uh oh…" Todd gulped as the X-Men glared at them. 

"What do you mean uh oh?" Shipwreck snapped. "You can't blame this disaster on us!" 

"Well not all of it anyway," Scott muttered. 

"I gotta admit Shipwreck," Rogue sighed. "That was pretty cool on how you handled Ms. March. Thanks."

"You're welcome," Shipwreck beamed with pride.

"You know Pop," Althea said. "Every now and then you do something right." 

"See Summers," Lance pointed out. "Even Rogue can admit that we're not that bad!"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Rogue snapped. 

"Let's just leave it that you guys broke even on the damage you caused," Logan folded his arms.

"Us?" Pietro asked. "What did we do?" 

"Gee I dunno," Kitty said. "Blow up the birthday cake all over us?"

"Blab half our secrets to the kids at school," Amara snapped. 

"Creating more holes in the walls," Scott said. 

"Insult us and pick fights with us half the night," Kurt said. "Not to mention leaving a huge pile of slime in one of the bathrooms!" He glared at Todd. 

"You people are very picky you know that?" Todd said. "It ain't like we were stealing stuff!" 

"Yeah for us this was good," Fred defended. 

"You weren't exactly perfect guests at this party either," Logan pointed out. "Especially you Shipwreck with you hitting on every adult female in sight!" 

"Hey listen pal if it wasn't for me there wouldn't have been a party!" Shipwreck snapped. "I saved this party! I was the voice of parental authority while all of you were fooling around in the Danger Room!"

"Thanks a lot Althea," Logan growled.

"I was the man in charge here!" Shipwreck went on. "I and I alone was the sole voice of morality and righteousness!"

At that very moment, the hidden pockets in his pants chose to have a hole open in them and several items of silverware tinkled out onto the floor. "I…really have to learn to quit while I'm ahead," He muttered. 

"Shipwreck…" Logan growled. 

"I don't believe it!" Kitty shouted. "They really are stealing the silverware!" 

"Oh they're not party favors?" Shipwreck asked innocently. 

"Way to go Pop," Althea groaned. 

"GET THEM!" Scott shouted. 

"Kids you know this drill well," Roadblock said. "Grab whatever you can and run like hell!" Immediately they scattered all over the mansion. Most of the X-Men started chasing them around. Except for Rogue, Logan and Jean who stood by and watched all the madness and destruction. 

"COME BACK WITH MY BRA PIETRO!" Amara shouted. 

"Roadblock I can't believe this of you!" Ororo snapped.

"Yeah I know, I think the kids have become a bad influence on me!" Roadblock shouted as he ran from her with several extra pieces of food in his arms. "They've been instructing me in the ways of petty larceny!" 

"Actually we're only taking your stuff to tick you guys off," Low Light ran by with some towels in his hands. "It's kind of fun to make you guys mad!"

"Yeah it's great exercise!" Cover Girl laughed. 

"You people are insane you know that?" Scott snapped. 

"Oh my god they're even taking some of the guest towels!" Kitty shouted. 

"Let's blow this pop stand!" Shipwreck shouted. "Take the loot and run!" 

"I should have known something like this would happen," Logan groaned. 

Jean staggered up to Rogue. "Rogue…" She sounded like she was waking up. "I'm not sure what happened the past few hours. I think I got drunk. Did I do or say… something?"

"Let's just say you helped make my party a memorable one," Rogue rolled her eyes. 

"I think I'm gonna be sick again…" Jean staggered away. 

"So…" Rogue said to Logan. "When are you taking me to the Harley-Davidson store?"

"Tomorrow afternoon good for you?" Logan sighed. 


End file.
